Truths from da Afro Divas

Please update your blogrolls and links...

2010-05-06T13:34:00.003Z

As you can see we haven't used this site for a while now. But I noticed we're still getting quite a few hits, fortunately you can still catch up with us on a few other blogs/sites.

Check them out and update your links!

The Toofly Experience
Without Issues
Being a Girl
The Whorington

Thanks x

Oops!

2008-11-18T11:47:00.003Z

Soooo you may have noticed that the layout of the blog has changed a little... kmt... I really thought I was a computer whizkid... trying to jazz up the site but as you can clearly see... that did not happen!

I logged out thinking that if I left it for a few weeks... it would kinda go back to the way it was... err nah! Sorrryyyy my fellow divas... I admit full responsibility for this travesty... don't trust me with a computer!

I can barely look at this blog without throwing up in my mouth and in that spirit created a new blog... check it out here... myself and Miss TooFly are on the blog with a few new members... a new start ey! Lol!

Still waving the Toofly Experience flag and forever upholding our AfroDivas!

Love ya

- Gabrielle

So...

2008-09-12T21:34:00.002Z

... I take it 'summer' is over! I've had enough... I'm moving!!

You think the Prince of Zamunda will have room for me in his palace?? lol... (I am still in love with Eddie Murphy in that film)

- Gabrielle

A Quick Run Down

2008-08-27T21:57:00.004Z

Wow...I have'nt been on this for a while.
I felt the urge to drop by, but im not really sure why. Lol.

I really wanted this summer to be filled with lots of adventure and rebellious activity. Instead it was filled with awkward guys, folywang moments and loads of work :-(
Actually it was'nt all bad, I realised I have some of the funniest and most loyal friends EVER!

My internship still rocks, I swear they love me...no really. There's one colleague in particular that has mentioned on more than one occasion that she would like to adopt me. Its always good to know that if my mum steps out of line I have options...It's always good to have options.

I've decided to escape from the plantation (my part-time job), I've not been happy for some time and Massa is starting to get on my bloody nerves. He's so incompetent and I often wonder who he slept with to become manager SMH
My only ray of sunshine (he'll love that description) is Mo the security guard...I swear he is pure comedy. From his highly exaggerated tales of being a ladies man in Nigeria and his thoughts on my fellow plantation workers he keeps me in stitches for most the day.
But even this is'nt enough to keep me working in the field...'Give me free!'

- SistaLova

Err... I'm back! I guess! Lol

2008-08-02T12:27:00.002Z

OK... this blog has lacked its usual posts...lol... (my bad)!!

I've finished university now, I am officially a graduate! Yaayyyy!! Having been catapulted into the real world without any preparation (yes...university was supposed to be the 'preparation' but it wasn't) has now left me working in a bank. *sigh*... Can't I catch a break!! The 9-5 work ethic has demolished my social life and for this reason I have had no desire to write on the blog. But as you all know me very well... my life without drama is like cereal without milk, lasagne with no cheese, Jay-Z with no Beyonce... it just doesn't happen!

I moved back home and I felt like as soon as I dropped all my bags the drama had begun. People were finding out that I was back and everyone wanted to hang out like old times. This wasn't the problem for me, I love socialising, I love to laugh, so I knew that being around my old friends would bring back old, fun memories but what I didn't anticipate was the 'change' in some people. Don't get me wrong 'change' is good... I mean everyone changes... you have to... if you're not changing, you're not growing and life without growth is... well its pointless!! To be totally honest, I know that I've changed, moving away from the city really helped calm down that 'hype' attitude I once possessed but now I just find myself feeling uncomfortable around some of my friends. The drama surrounding this 'change' is too detailed to describe but it was emotional... I've had to part ways with those I thought I would grow old with and it is sad but life goes on!

The drama surrounding my love life is much more comical... being approached by guys who I feel lack ambition tends to 'kill' any positive mood! At first, I used to think that setting standards made a person superficial, even shallow but now I realise that standards are essential. In regards to the standards a guy must possess to be considered as a potential, my requirements are clear and concise:

- he must be a Christian
- physical requirements bear some importance - the guy must look like he has showered
- he must have ambition, he has to know what he wants to accomplish in life
- he must be able to hold a conversation
- he must be sane
- he must have a sense of humour
- he must be able to control his temper
- he should appreciate an independent woman

Those are the requirements I can think of right now, some women have similar requirements it all depends on what they deem most important. All I'm saying is why do I get approached by guys who don't meet any of these requirements... I'm not asking for Tyson Beckford (even though I did in a previous post, I have matured), I'm not asking for Morris Chestnut. I'm asking for someone who has the same morals as I do, who has the same attitude to life as I do. I've worked hard on being successful, I've worked hard trying to make the most out of life, being the best that I can be... so why should I settle for someone who has never done anything productive with theirs, who really has no concern for their future, who basically doesn't give a damn!!

I have standards but I'm justified for having those standards, so can someone please tell Dwayne from down the road that my name is not Kamiesha (sorry if that is your name) and it is less than likely that I will 'come and jam in his drum'... kmt!! Can you also tell Uncle John that I am too young for him, his wife and kids are at home waiting for him to bring them their dinner and can you let Jeremiah (Mr I Think I'm God's Gift) know that all the lines he's used before may have worked but I am not THAT GIRL... try harder!! Better yet, don't even bother!! Life ey!!

Woooooo... glad I got that off my chest!!

Feels good to be back!

- Gabrielle

She's here!! She's finally here!!

2008-05-12T14:40:00.002Z

Its here!! Summer is officially here!! How I've been waiting for her to grace us with her presence... I just hope its not a brief visit. My exams aren't done until mid June (yes...I know!!)... I just hope she stays around for longer this time... last year was so disappointing... she could make it up to me this year... I'd be ever so grateful!!

Enjoy summer... while she's around anyway!!

- Gabrielle

Last Time

2008-04-29T23:03:00.004Z

I’m obsessing over Trey Songz’ latest single ‘Last Time’ – I’m in love with it. I’m always singing it and just recently added it to my iPod so you know it’s on repeat. His smooth voice lingers over every word and you just can’t help but picture the scenario he’s painting… the video helps too!! So, I’ve listened to this song more than 30 times already despite the fact that I only added it to my iTunes two days ago!!

I couldn’t help thinking about sections of the song…
‘Your love is so so serious,
You keep me comin’ back babe…

…She just don’t deserve this
Aint nobody perfect
But I just can’t take no more
I’m living two different lives…

…Even though this ain’t right,
I just can’t get enough
But the way you put it down.’

Is this why guys cheat? E.g. a conversation I had with a friend about the ‘Harvey and Alesha’ situation (if you don’t know already, read about it here) and my friend said ‘it’s not that he didn’t like Alesha, he just probably had better sex with Javine!’ My argument - if you’re not happy with anything in a relationship can’t you just rectify it by talking. I don’t think ‘talking’ would be the direct approach in a situation regarding your sex life like Harvey and Alesha’s but he could have made gestures or showed her or even taught her – that relationship didn’t break down because of Alesha not pleasing Harvey enough, I just think he got greedy! He is the one that proposed to her, he’s the one that initiated thoughts of marriage (I read in an article somewhere that Alesha had no idea he was that serious about her), if he wasn’t ready to commit he shouldn’t have asked. I’m surprised really because he should have known that getting married would mean having sex with that one person for the rest of his life – someone sent him the wrong memo!!

Trey Songz sings ‘he just can’t get enough’… huh? I’m not saying I fully understand but I’m grasping that sex really has a hold on some guys… or is it not just the sex but the amount? That doesn’t even make sense… is it the sex with the number of women that is appealing? I really want to know! Yes, girls cheat but I think girls cheat for different reasons, the more I think about why guys cheat – I just always end up with the theory that it’s just the sex. Now if that is the reason, it’s a lame one! A guy could have the flyyest lady on his arm, a woman that every man wants but still ends up cheating à la Eric Benet and Halle Berry, David and Victoria Beckham (not every guy wants Victoria but hey…), Harvey and Alesha, Ashley Cole and Cheryl Cole (to be honest I don’t care about these two – but you get my drift).

If it is just the sex, is it impossible to get as much of it as you want from the woman you claim to love? I know women suddenly get ‘headaches’ when their men bring it up… lol… but really I know most women would do anything for their partners – so it must not be just about the sex then! If it’s about the chase, the fact that you might get caught, the deceit – I’m ashamed! When did we start doing deceitful things for pleasure? Thieves, liars, fraudsters get pleasure from deceitful actions but they’re scum… it’s not supposed to be that way – notice how when a man cheats, he always gets caught. Well, some men… some of you are getting smarter!! No, I’m playing… there are many guys who don’t cheat… give yourselves a pat on the back, you are appreciated! The bottom line is there is a reason why guys cheat… I don’t know what it is, but I want to find out. This isn’t some personal mission, please do not read between the lines, no one has cheated on me but its something that is happening frequently amongst friends and I just want to know why it happens. I have asked some of my male friends and their ‘don’t know why’ is becoming tiresome – so if you have a theory please share….

I’m not going to stop listening to ‘Last Time’… I can’t get enough… I’m going to add Trey Songz to my never ending list of potentials and just so you can appreciate what I’m talking about – the video is below. Enjoy!!

- Gabrielle

Funny Thoughts...

2008-04-25T19:02:00.005Z

Sometimes my life is boring... really boring and I find that there's no amount of TV, music or books that can cure that boredom. In situations like these I turn to gossip... lol... NOOOO not 'ordinary people' gossip... ok, well not 'ordinary people' I know, gossip... just hearsay... I'll enlighten you on the things I discuss with my comrades...

1) Flava Flav!! LMAO!! Nuff said!! Now I truly believe that everyone is beautiful. Each person was made in God's image and I feel that if I call someone ugly, I'm indirectly insulting God's work. So, I refrain from calling people ugly... 'cos it's not nice and 'cos its just not nice. Then there's FLAV!! I mean, from when I see him on TV... with his dry ass lips and his 3 plaits on his head... to the earring he uses as a nose ring... what compliment can I pay him. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... to be honest I really don't know why those girls are there... I know they DO NOT see anything nice in this OLD ASS MAN!! He just looks like the type of person whose breath makes your hairline recede... I shudder when I think of the amount of girls from 'Flavor of Love' sleep with him... best believe that 'money is the root of all evil'... everyone and their mothers know that if he had no money... it would be another case entirely!! With all that said... he does provide entertainment... funny old man!!

2) I heard that a woman got killed in Brixton by a police van carrying 11 prisoners. *blank stare*... Hmmm... (A) I heard this woman was a bit loopy (B) I heard the van drove over her head and the crowd was telling the driver to reverse - back over her head that is (C) A crowd built up around the van causing havoc for a few hours... so basically that woman was left to die. My thoughts... only in Brixton!! KMT!!

3) I was having a discussion with my friends about rapists, wife beaters, paedophiles etc. Its a very sensitive subject but have you noticed that when they show a picture of the atacker (on the news, magazines, newspaper articles)... don't they look dodgy anyway. Like I'm sorry if this offends anyone but all the pics I have seen scream 'WEIRDO' to me... like I'm cautious of everyone... maybe a bit too cautious but its better to be safe than sorry. The reason why Im saying this is because a man was convicted of rape and attempted murder last week and if you saw his picture... HELL TO THE NO... HELL NO!! If I saw this man walking on the same side of the street... I would cross over... no hesitation. He just looked 'seedy'!! Ladies... you know what I'm talking about!! He fits into the category of those men you see at the train station/bus stop who look at you far longer than is necessary, flash a 'seedy' smile, breathe all heavy... you're waiting to use the cash point and they're behind you too close for comfort, making you feel very uncomfortable... OK...hmm... maybe that just happens to me!! You get my drift though... if he looks suspicious... HE IS!! SIMPLE!!

And these 'American Boys' are just doing it for me these days, making my heart skip a beat, my smile last longer than ever... basically seeing them in a mag or on tv makes me happy... Derek Luke (Antwoine Fisher), Jackie Long (Serena Williams' ex... abusive partner in Trey Songz vid 'Can't Help But Wait), I still got love for Jarell 'J-Boog' Houston (B2K member)... I know - I need to let that one go but my love for guys hailing from the LDN... especially Idris Elba!! His beauty is just too much... hmmmm!!

Oh and no discrimination here... Mark Ronson gets a shout out too!! He's cute... oh whatever!! The guy is cute! And I know that the male readers may be sickened by this... just a little bit... so a lil' something for you too...

Until next time folks...

- Gabrielle

What is going on? Part II

2008-04-24T13:26:00.007Z

Remember this post? Well because I love you all so much and know how you love this song, its only right that I post this for your viewing pleasure *rolls eyes*
When watching the following I recommend keeping a bottle of holy water in reaching distance. That is all.
Enjoy...

- SistaLova

Get Gone... Call Tyrone!!

2008-04-23T10:02:00.004Z

Already laughing at the title... yeah I said it... 'call Tyrone'.

An old friend called me the other day and unlike the desired reaction he expected, I was not pleased. The surprise call was not received well at all... not just because we haven't spoken since September last year but because our friendship crumbled due to his continuous 'spittage' of lies... lol... (*side eye* - 'spittage'... I'm going to add that to my lingo dictionary). There are many things I can't stand in this world, many things , but being lied to sits right at the top, just above being taken advantage of and following closely behind - when people talk to me with an air of superiority... none of those instances are cute.

My old friend lied to me in a way that I lost trust in people full stop... what happened to plain old telling the truth. Where did we go wrong? As soon as I found out what he had done, I deleted his number, deleted him on Facebook - basically destroyed any reminder I may have of his existence. It sounds harsh but really it's not, the feeling I had can be compared to a 'Maury' moment, when your best friend/sister tells you they have slept with your boyfriend... the feeling of finding out that the child you have raised up as your own might not be yours... that feeling of betrayal and hurt... that hurts and the delete action of my old friend just fits his crime.

So... I refer to him as an old friend but if I'm honest, at one point (periodic insanity) I thought he was 'the one'. HA HA!! I'm laughing now but... hmmm... anyway you can understand why I felt so passionate about his deceitful ways. Having now deleted my Facebook (it was too much of a distraction) and focused on getting a life, I stumbled once again on the treasure pot that is YouTUBE. Simply amazing!! Searched all my favourite artists and came across the queen that is Erykah Badu... she told it like it is and still does... (a little dedication to Lauryn Hill... I love you mama... please come back). I watched 'Call Tyrone' and thought I actually handled my 'old friend' situation quite well... so without further ado... I present my little throwback... ERYKAH BADU - CALL TYRONE

P.S. If you incessantly call/text me, Facebook me, ask my friends about me with no reply... you have been deleted!! It's very easy to comprehend... you are no longer an asset to have around that is why you are no longer a part of my life. No animosity though. I wish you all the best in your future... I hope you can find someone to tolerate your pathological lying ways... but even that would be a curse to that poor innocent person. DEUCES UP!!

- Gabrielle

It's Been A While!

2008-04-19T18:40:00.002Z

Hi readers!!

Its been quite a long hiatus since my last post and due to the 'talk' that I had with SistaLova, I realised it was in my best interest to at least update you on the 'funny' that is my life!!

Firstly, I want to acknowledge the readers of AfroDivas, its been a long run... December 2005, that is when we started and I know some of you still come on the site to check if there have been any posts... this will be rectified. A post every week... well from Gabrielle... SistaLova... (I'm giving you the *side eye* right now)... we owe a regular post to our faithful readers!!

Sooooooooooo the 'funny' that is my life and events around me:

I've decided that weird people, weird events...anything weird must be attracted to me, I just can't catch a break. Like, why is it always me?

Having moved back home from university, I have to say I became quite a bit naive... (the uni atmosphere can do that to you)... I forgot that in all the years before moving to university I used to get approached by 'uncles', men past their sell by dates, men who don't want to grow up, men who still insist that they have still got 'it'... on my way home from an outing the shenanigans had started again. I insist on keeping my iPod with me at all times incase of situations like this and have advised all my friends that in actual fact this does work, I was proved wrong the other day. Honestly, these 'uncles' are getting smarter!!

So, I'm walking home...listening to my iPod as you do... the volume is high but I can still hear things going on around me... so I hear someone shouting... or not even shouting but this continuous irritating noise so obviously I'm going to turn around... argghhh, why was it this 'uncle'? To be honest, I had noticed the way he was staring at me before but I brushed it off... I've fallen victim to giving them the 'benefit of the doubt'... so I turned around and there he was... smiling... smiling soooooo hard I could see all his teeth right to the back of his mouth, my heart sunk!

He was talking and I just stared at him... I had to think fast, pulling my earphones out would have been the worst move. I guess he figured that I couldn't hear him and started gesturing for me to take my earphones out... (argghh... what do I do?)... I don't know how I started thinking so quick on my feet but I refused to take them out. Now if you knew me before I would've taken them out and then thought *shite* afterwards but that didn't happen... he must've figured that I would be a challenge and decided to try and take my earphones out himself.

OH HEELLLLLLLLLLLLL NO!! Am I awake? This uncle did not try and violate my space... I did some matrix move faster than you can say 'matrix move' and that's when I walked off. I didn't even care if he was following me... by that point he had pissed me off. I think back to it now and I'm like 'why didn't I walk off in the first place'... 'why didnt I just tell him to leave me alone'... I just think sometimes I'm too nice for my own good... I hate offending people, but some people bring it on themselves. Just like the woman who lives opposite me... this woman had everyone believing she was disabled... got people in the neighbourhood running errands for her, going over to the house to check if she's alrite, just looking after her... the way a community should. I thought I damn near lost my mind when I saw this woman coming out of her house, pushing her own wheelchair... hmm *looks around the room*... is she not supposed to be in the wheelchair? I think her landlord clocked on 'cos I haven't seen her in the area for a while... but I mean... COME ON!! Is this where our generation is headed... fraudsters, paedophiles etc... what happened to life as I knew it? Lol... To be honest though... can you imagine life without these little events... very boring don't you think?!

Imma be back... I'm loving blogger life again!!

Gabrielle

Love Letters...A Dying Art?

2008-03-24T22:35:00.000Z

Have you ever had a love letter? and I mean any type of love letter, even the ones in school.
"I like you, do you like me? Tick (or circle) yes or no", type love letter...No?
I remember once writing a "love letter" to this boy (...I know lol), actually it wasn't a letter. It was written on the back of those big ass rubbers you used to get in class, you know the one made by Staedtler that looked like this...
Ha!
All I really remember is that my heart felt like it was in my throat, then I handed it to him, telling him not to read it until I had left...okay ran out the room lol. I can't remember what actually happen afterwards, if anything. But I still remain good friends with that boy and once in a while he'll remind me how I ran out of the room lool.
My only time receiving one, I was slightly older. It was so unexpected from a really cool guy friend in my class (I only hung out with boys in Primary, with the exception of JB). He left it in my tray (remember back in the day you had a tray instead of a locker lol), It was really sweet and a little unexpected. I didn't feel the same and didn't want our friendship to be awkward, so I pretended I didn't get it.
It's funny he never brought it up and I just realised neither of us has ever mentioned it since. Shame.
I asked a few of the girlies they're thoughts on love letters and after laughing hard at me, most thought It was really corny and very rare. I agree to a point, blame my addiction for old fashion love, but I like the fact that someone can express themselves with words. It's also really great to look back and read them. Although If I'm honest, I would be giving a dude a little side eye if he gave me one, its just hard to take guys seriously these days. But thats another post in itself. I would'nt give a side eye to Idris or Lupe though. I had to do it lool.
Anyway what do you think?
Peace.

- SistaLova

West LDN 10 X Ladies' No1 Detective Agency...

2008-03-20T10:55:00.010Z

Did anyone watch West Ldn 10??
The new "urban drama" is a part of BBC Three's pilot season. It's based on the "Society Within" by Courttia Newland and developed by director Menhaj Huda and writer Noel Clarke the team behind the film Kidulthood. The show stars a few familiar faces such as Ashley Walters (he'll always be Asher D to me), Duane Henry (Dubplate Drama)and Ashley Madekwe (Drop Dead Gorgeous).
I'm still deciding on my feelings about the show, I always think that it's never done quite right. Overall I think it's great that more programmes feature black talented actors, but maybe we should work on script writers creating lines that don't always end in "oi blud!"...Im just saying.
And is it me or does Duane Henry not look as cute as his Dubplate Drama days?? Anyway if your a fan of the episode and want it to continue you need to contact the BBC via their feedback site. I have to say I saw a sneek peek of what could happen if it's turned into a full series and it looks really interesting.

I'm really looking forward to watching "The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency" featuring Jill Scott...yay! Miss Jilly from Philly will be playing lead character Precious Ramotswe. It was directed by the great Anthony Minghella, who recently passed away earlier this week. The 90 minute drama is based on the novel of the same name written by Alexander McCall Smith. I remember reading it a couple of years ago and I urge you to go and cop the book for yourselves. I wonder how true it will stay to the book..but I know its gonna be hot simply because of the great casting. Did I mention the sexiness that is Idris Elba will be in it?!!
Hmmm....lol *I think I'm gonna make it my personal mission to mention Mr Elba in every post, even if it's not necessary lool.
It was also announced on Monday that another 13 episodes will be made...fab!

- SistaLova

Just Because I Felt Like It...

2008-03-14T12:05:00.006Z

I really thought I was done with this blog and writing up on my random experiences. But lately I just had the urge to check back in and write stuff up.

I’ve been meeting new people and made good friends in some unexpected places lol. I’m still meeting crazy people *sighs* but I’m trying to see the positive, maybe I’m meant to lead these people to the road of sanity *sighs again*

I finished my old internship at the A&R offices and met some great, kind hearted people. I kinda miss the old team and my desk hehe. I really miss those freebies as well; it was good while it lasted. I recently got a new and fab internship courtesy of my favourite cousin (she was my favourite before the job lol) and I’m really looking forward to it....

I’ve had an idea for a certain project that I’ve been talking about for ages and I’m really excited and a little anxious that it’s finally coming together and is set to be something really successful! Most people I know wouldn’t use shyness as a word to describe me, but I have my moments and pushing this idea has made me put myself out there...”everything happens for a reason”.

A while ago I did a couple of articles for a magazine *Super Super * on the UK's underground music scene and it actually got published...yay for me! I actually plan to do a few more pieces in mags so look out!

On the whole love thing it’s been as random as this post...met a guy a while ago, really liked him. But soon discovered he was a “status dude” (needs its own post) and I couldn’t be bothered with the drama. Recently I’ve been talking to this guy (let’s call him JK for any future references), but it’s weird. Most people have a checklist...well I know I do lol! This guy does not fit any of specifications. But I told myself that I’m going to try new things this year, so let’s see how it goes.
Err...I also think I must be giving out some sort of jungle fever vibe because for some reason this year, White guys are lovin them some SistaLova! Don’t get me wrong I've seen a few white guys that I think are cute but my main preference is black guys and not even the milky Cadbury type but the dark cocoa type guy...[insert Idris Elba here] yeah I know he’s too old for me but he is fine!!

A while ago Gabrielle asked me about my short stories, I know I’m slipping lol. Last week I actually started something and was surprised by how racy it became. I think reading the diva diaries inspired and tainted my imagination lol.

I’ll probably post it so you can judge it for yourself...

- SistaLova

Myspace is Evil...I wonder If Tom Is happy??

2008-02-29T22:43:00.003Z

Like the song goes I believe the children our are future and Myspace is corrupting them!
If you don't believe me watch the clip below of this little kid going crazy. But I'm not gonna lie when he is asked ”What does Myspace mean to you?” and he yells: ”Everything BITCH!!!” I laughed a little...ok maybe alot!

Now before I am accused of being racist with my next statement I want to make it clear that i'm not...this display of foly is clearly a "white" thing. I honestly cannot imagine a Black kid getting this emotional, can you?

www.todaysbigthing.com

Two Thousand and Eight!!

2008-01-30T11:49:00.001Z

2008 has really brought about a change in the way I act and in the way I think. I really feel like this is the year that is going to ‘make me,’ I had to let go of unnecessary baggage. I ended ‘2007’ saying goodbye to all those ‘guys’ I couldn’t quite get over, as drastic as it might seem, it was much needed! I found myself being distracted to the highest degree over these guys and nothing positive was coming from such distractions, I concentrated so much on them that I lost sight of what I was actually supposed to be focusing on, e.g university. I do not know how I passed my second year but I see this year as another chance and I’m not taking that for granted.

Everything had been going the way I wanted, but what life exists without drama! A slight hiccup in my positive attitude when I heard from my ex, (summer ‘like’), it wasn’t good news!! I was not happy!! I am definitely over it now but it did make me start thinking about so many things, with the bad news I had heard I just wanted something that would help revert my attitude back to the way it was, so I picked up a book, ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’, by Joshua Harris, and through reading that book I have decided to kiss dating goodbye. Initial thoughts, ‘hmm, how am I going to kiss dating goodbye – dating is a way of life, if I don’t date I will never find my husband, if I don’t date I won’t even have a boyfriend’, so many things ran through my mind - I was sure I had taken the book too literally but the more I thought about it, the more I thought I could actually reap some benefits from doing this.

To be honest, my ‘love life’ was not active in the first place, so I really don’t think it will be that much of a challenge, lol, it’s not going to be easy but I don’t think it will be that hard. The book specifies that ‘dating’ takes place when two people request to spend time with each other, on several different occasions in seemingly romantic places. The mission is not to allow myself to be ‘secluded’ with the opposite sex (I really don’t think this is going to be hard) and if I do want to go out it must be with a group of 4 or more. I could say 3 or more but I know too many people who think that by taking a third party their motives will not be as obvious, well it is!! Leave Keisha at home, the guy is interested in you, its not like you are going to pay any attention to Keisha on the date anyway.

I don’t know how long this mission is supposed to be, I want to see how it goes really. I think this mission will help cure the ‘crush hoe’ in me, the ‘infatuationist’ (I know that is not a word), but seriously, I have a tendency (and I’m not alone) to see a guy and become obsessed, no, obsessed is too strong a word. All I’m saying is, I first see a guy and all my thoughts and actions are based on that person, I might not know everything I need to know about that person but in my head, he’s perfect. He’ll be the perfect companion, the perfect partner, the perfect husband, the perfect father and that is all from just looking at him, I really don’t think so!! I think this is where so many people make mistakes, I see someone and imagine them to be something that they are not, when I do find out that they are nothing like I imagined, I lose interest! I could have saved wasting precious time by not thinking so deeply into what I could gain from them and concentrate more on what I can possibly offer a partner in my future.

Basically, this task will help me focus, I don’t want to be thinking about dating, marriage, I just want to live my life. Its funny how once you get to a certain age you’re supposed to have ‘potentials’ lined up, you’re supposed to have been thinking about your life partner and honestly that is not the case. Being told from when you were old enough to talk to about 19/20 to ‘read your books’, then suddenly at the age of 21, you’re being asked where your husband/wife is!! This dating thing is so complicated, its actually confusing, so on behalf of the young generation I have taken it upon myself to embark upon this mission. This might provide me with revelations that many women are waiting on and the same revelations that men are keen to know. I can’t wait to see where this mission takes me, please keep your eyes peeled for further updates because I will be posting up my progress or struggles. I may need your help!!

Psst...Ms TooFly has a new blog!

2008-01-28T13:58:00.000Z

Are you a fan of fashion, music, poetry and such??...yes?
Well swing by The TooFly Experience blog.
Leave comments, send in news, bookmark us and tell your friends!
To find out more about us visit our myspace too.

- Ms TooFly

"Racisms' Still Alive, They Just Be Concealing It..."

2008-01-25T00:01:00.001Z

So recently I've been really busy with Uni and some personal projects. Thus not being able to post regulary :-(
But a few weeks ago one of the guys in my class showed me a mini film, that was made by a couple of ex-students in my film studies class. It was really thought provoking and made me reflect on how accepting British people really are of other cultures. Alot of people like to believe England is a nation of blending ethnicty's...that is'nt necessarily fact.
Anyway watch it and leave your thoughts and reactions.
Peace.
- SistaLova

Its Chockablock Time...

2008-01-24T16:27:00.000Z

Hey guys! Tomorrow is the re-launch party for Mr Joseph JP Pattersons's' jam packed night...CHOCKABLOCK! Anyone familiar with JPs' work his (Blog, SuperSuper) is aware of how your assured to have a bangin' time! There are stil a few places left on the guestlist so hurry, hurry...

ChockABlock

The LDN Relaunch Party

@ EGG Nightclub,200 Yorks Way, Kings Cross, London N7

Showcasing The Best UK Underground Music In:

Grime / Niche / Dubstep / Electro / Jungle + Rave

With Art Visuals By Fashion Desinger

.."CASSETTE PLAYA.."

Not your typical Grime or Bassline event, ready to show whats going on in other UK Underground Music Scene.."s aswell so just be a bit open minded you might likey.

So If your not afraid of a little BASSSS!, like to Skank out or quietly shout ...BRAP BRAP! in the corner? then this rave is youuuuuu.

FOR £6.00 GUESLIST:

Email:CLUBCHOCKABLOCK@MSN.COM

- SistaLova

Good News For A Great Year!

2008-01-15T13:14:00.000Z

Disney have created their first ever black princess character for upcoming New-Orleans based film, 'The Frog Princess'. Her name is Maddy and she joins eight other Disney princess characters. Disney Princesses are the fastest-growing brand for the company’s Consumer Products division so they were about ready to cash in on the black pound/dollar.
Maddy's got natural hair and everything! *applauding the Disney team. It's been a long time coming. Maybe if this had been created earlier alot more black girls would have spent less time running around with a pillow case over their head emulating flowing princess locks, (don't play I know who you are :-). I'm just praying they don't overload the character with Ebonics and doing non-exsitent 'ethnic' hand gestures and shrieking about things.
It only took 84 years, but we got there in the end.

To my fellow "urban[1]" reading biliophiles, you may be pleased to know that after nearly 10 years of the fictional novel "The Coldest Winter Ever" hit bookshelves. Best-selling author, Sister Souljah has confirmed that a sequel will be released sometime this year!
I remember reading this book in school and loving it, there were even talks of a movie adaptation with Jada Pinkett Smith supposedly playing the lead role of "Winter". As much as I think Jada is cool, I could'nt really see that working out. I think all plans of that ever happening have been scrapped. Besides, I'd rather read a sequel written solely by Sister Souljah than watch some watered down version of it on film.

[1] I really dislike like that term. What does it really mean?
hmm...maybe next post.

- SistaLova

Too Cute..

2007-12-19T16:07:00.001Z

I remember watching "No Leave, No Love" years ago and was surprised to find this clip on youtube. Frank "Sugachile" Robinson is too cute, watch his hands.
Lol @ "Mama did'nt know what Caldonia was putting down"

- SistaLova

The Landlord...

2007-12-07T15:34:00.001Z

I saw this earlier this year and it seems to have a buzz around it again. So if you need a laugh, sit back and enjoy the genius that is Will Ferell.

- SistaLova

What is going on?

2007-12-03T15:44:00.000Z

I'm always getting emails with promotional info of "yet to be released" tracks, alot of them are one hit wonders, that rarely recieve any media atttention. But once in a while I recieve a truly lyrical gem.
So a few days ago I open my inbox and there it is, with the classy title of "Smell Yo Dick". Yes thats right, singer Riskay wants you to smell it... As in, if your man been has out all night and you dont believe what he's telling you, you have to smell his "love below".

What. Type. Of. Folywang???!!!
If you dont believe me check her Myspace. She has even been kind and generous enough to allow all her loving fans to download her singles for free....aww, how sweet.

On a more serious note. If you are having problems trusting your other half and have been reduced to literally sniffing around, in order to be sure your man is being faithful. Ah ah just END it MAYNNE! Who needs that stress? Sniffing is not the way forward people!! The sad thing about this, is that I can actually see it being played on certain music channels *ahem MTV. So prepare yourself, for when your five year old cousin comes up to you and asks you to explain the lyrical content.
This story reminds me of an incident involving a friend catching her mum praying in front of the tv, when some porn came on. I think im going to have do the same with my computer...smh. -

- SistaLova

The Classroom Bear...is it that serious?

2007-11-29T18:10:00.000Z

On a daily basis, newspapers put out articles that have me worrying what the world is coming to.

Today, was no exception.
In the Sudan, British school teacher Gillian Gibbons is being brought up on charges because she let the children in her class name a teddy bear Muhammad. Her charges range from inciting hatred, insulting religion and showing contempt of religious beliefs.

Hmm...Inciting hatred? With a teddy bear? Was it wearing a white hood or something??

According to the article:
"if found guilty of insulting religion, [Gibbons] could be punished with a whipping of up to 40 lashes, a fine or six months in prison."

Ok...Lets have a look at the facts, shall we? She let a child bring in a teddy bear and then asked her SEVEN-YEAR-OLD PUPILS to name said bear. The class voted on Muhammad. Then the kids took turns taking Muhammad home and had to write diary entries about what they did with the bear. The diary entries were collected in a book with the bear's picture on the cover, named, 'My Name is Muhammad.'" And because of that, Gibbons lost her job and is likely to get beaten to death, too...smh.

- SistaLova

My Summer

2007-11-24T18:35:00.001Z

Notice how I haven't written one single post since June. HA! That is what 'supposed' LOVE does to you. Can you imagine!! ME... GABRIELLE...IN LOVE!! See, I thought I was in love, I thought I had all the symptoms, but there are no classic symptoms and the sooner I get that into my head, the better off I'll be.

I'm a sucker for being 'in love'... I love the idea of being 'IN LOVE' and I know I'm not alone. Many ladies across the world are fooled into thinkingthat they’ll live a BROWN SUGAR story or miraculously bump into their love interest whilst shopping, working etc. The truth is you might not find HIM like that; the truth is I walk around aimlessly looking for him and it needs to stop.

A brief relationship in summer, I was happy, he made me happy but I couldn’t tell my mum about him. And yes, you may sigh, but I’m at an age where I don’t have to hide anything from my parents, the fact that I couldn’t at least hint to my mum that I was even ‘liking’ someone meant something was wrong. To cut a long story short, it didn’t last! It hurt a lot at first but later on I realised that it was for the best. Ever since that failed relationship I’ve been intent on finding a permanent replacement. Yes I said it! PERMANENT! I’m tired of getting to know someone, getting to know their habits, likes/dislikes, interests, I’m talking like I’ve been in loads of relationships but really and truly it’s just a long process so forget that!

Starting from my birthday outing I was on the lookout! I turned 21!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! Good times, lots of laughs, I was looking for him - NO LUCK! KMT! What is it with LONDON nowadays – I MEAN! NOTHING WHAT SO EVER! So never one to dwell in such defeat, I decided to go to Nigerian Independence… hence I am Nigerian, and what’s better than settling with a fellow countryman… KMT…. Only he wasn’t there either. And it wasn’t so much that he wasn’t there, more that I didn’t even get a chance to cast eyes on him. The event got locked off. My people! My people!

Something happened that night that I will get into later but all hope was destroyed that night, all hope destroyed. I gave up a part of my soul… OK OK lets not exaggerate, but I was disappointed.

You guys know what kind of person I am though, yes my heart sank, yes I was disappointed but hey life goes on and so do I… he’s out there somewhere, I know it and when I find him you’ll be the first to know!!

- Gabrielle

Tomorrow is not promised...

2007-11-12T12:11:00.000Z

I was checking out the black gossip site "Crunk and Disorderly" this morning and it had a story on kanye West's mother passing away suddenly during the weekend. Dr Donda West was only 58 years old, reading it made me think about my own love ones and how in life we generally think everyone around us is always going to be there. Many of us are guilty of taking those around us for granted. when I see my family and friends It never crosses my mind that it'll be the last time and I'm sure for many of you its the same.
I really do appreciate my family and friends and I hope they know that, but sometimes hoping people know, isnt enough. I'm going to make more of a conscious effort to show I'm truly thankful for the people God has brought into my life, positive or negative.
It also made me re-realise that life really is too short to waste on petty issues and that we should'nt wait to rectify things within our lives, because we may not be here to do it.
So like the old saying goes...
"Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last...Tomorrow is Not Promised".
Peace

- SistaLova

Party with Cavalli...

2007-11-08T07:11:00.000Z

The day has finally arrived, and I shall be in attendance. I've had a look at the collection and I personally think that the mens line is much better. However there are a few pieces in the ladies range that I like...anyway If you see a random black girl fighting over the last black ruffled blouse, do'nt hesistate to call my name!

- SistaLova

Sign "O" The Time

2007-11-05T17:44:00.000Z

I'm not a big fan of "Big Brother" or reality-like tv shows, and I try my best to avoid them(however I did watch the last season...I blame "bag lady"!) Anyway...I did'nt realise that there was an African edition, until I was browsing online and came across a story that was quite shocking.

According to The Times, SA...
"Viewers of the incident, which took place on Saturday afternoon after an extended drinking bout which ended in copious vomiting and apparent blackout for Molokwu, remain adamant about what they saw: Bezuidenhout lay down next to the comatose young woman and penetrated her vagina with his fingers. He carried on despite the pleas of another female housemate for him to stop. Under the law in South Africa - where, on average, a woman is sexually assaulted every 40 seconds - such an act constitutes rape. Bezuidenhout, who is married, finally desisted and went off to sit by himself while drunkenly sniffing his fingers."

The camera's were still rolling while all of this took place and only when the housemate Bezuidenhout had finished did the creators of the show stop the live feed and call in the paramedics in, then....broadcasting resumed. Huh? wtf? What kind of sick people are running this show? I do realise that this info is from a random article, so figuring out what parts are fact and fiction is anyones guess. Even with the controversy surrounding this incident, Bezuidenhout is still in the house and is favourite to win.

I'm not sure about you guys, but how is it possible that this man could be left in the house and still a favourite?!

- SistaLova

Silence in the Library!

2007-10-31T10:30:00.000Z

Hey guys! Its been a while, but you know how it is....busy, busy!

Recently I feel like I've been living in the library. In fact it's 10.30 and I'm here procrastinating, instead of finishing off my essay(s). I've got so much coursework to do it's ridiculous! But its all good you have to work hard to achieve big things, which I definately plan on doing.

As a few of you know from my past posts that crazy people like to be a prominent fixture in my life lol...no seriously. They're everywhere work, uni, social events...everywhere! But one place I can always find solice is in the library, err..that was until now.

So because I always have encounters with weird people I have developed a natural radar that alerts me to whenever one is nearby (yes, its that serious!). As I saw this person approaching (I think we should call her Why?) I knew all was not well and was praying that she would not sit next to me, my prayers were not answered.

Why? begins her random behaviour by spraying herself with deodorant, and i'm not talking about a quick spray. This girl was spraying like she wanted to finish the whole can. I'm worried my lungs won't be the same again!
As she's doing this I'm thinking, did'nt you know you were funky when you left your house?? (its only 10.00) and is this the place to sort yourself out??...smh. So finally she stops and things settle down for a while, then suddenly I hear a loud crunching sound mixed with the unwrapping of something...I look up.

Why? is now eating several large boiled sweets and it looks like she forgot to close her mouth...Folywang! I start staring at her on the sly thinking this chick is NOT serious, or maybe I've become part of a prank tv show. Either way I thought it was time to find another seat, luckily she left before I had a chance to. The cynical part of me thinks she came in to eat and stop the funky scent that was following her...kmt.

So I finally get back to the work that I really need to finish and soon enough Why?s' seat is filled by a guy. As I said my radar usually picks up on weird behaviour, but I did'nt really notice him until he insisited on blowing his nose for a good 2 minutes....continuously!! Everybody starts looking in our direction like they want to say something. I'm trying my best not to notice and even resort to putting my ipod on to drown the sound out, but this guy was relentless! Even the sounds of Roisin Murphy (who I'm lovin btw!) could'nt stop him. I mean what happened to silence in the library!!

Oh yeah then there was a grown ass man who I noticed stealing a leaf...yes you read it right, a leaf?! I swear I was so confused, he looked like an average guy too. He just came in, ripped the leaf from the stem put it in his backpack and left.
This is just another example that the end is near.

Anyways I'm going to keep this short and get back to some serious work.

SistaLova
Peace.

Why Must I Cry no. 1

2007-06-03T12:21:00.000Z

I've realised that ALOT of things generally annoy, make me shake my head in disgust or leave me in a state of shock. So ive decided to make a daily note of those things on this blog. This radom ranting will be entitled..."why must I cry". The title itself was inspired by a young man called Reh Dogg, I think you'll agree that he should be on your list too.

Why must I cry

Please note the description Reh dogg has provided to help you futher understand this follywang that is his video.

2007-05-05T22:27:00.000Z

"Why do good girls
Like bad guys,
Knowing that bad guys
Tell mad lies?"

This is a little part of a lyric from a song by DMX.
This is a wondering question!
It even tends to be true basically! Very true, even.

What do you girls, or even guys, think???

101 Ways To Annoy People...

2007-04-30T00:54:00.000Z

A friend sent me this......... so I decided to post it for you guys

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for yourremote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector stripsinto peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

- SistaLova

A Lifetime, Reason, Or A Season

2007-04-23T23:55:00.000Z

Its said that people you come across throughout your life can fall into three categories: A lifetime, Reason, or a Season.

Someone with only a reason for being in your life
Is there to provide you with guidance or support,
Help you physically, mentally, or spiritually.
Or show you how to appreciate life
And what or who you have in it.
When their time with you is over,
They’ll continue on their way.
Time with you was meant to be brief,
There’s nothing you can do or say.

A seasonal being is there to teach you an important lesson,
About yourself or about life.
They can bring you joy or pain,
And an experience you’ve yet to encounter before them.
But just as life begins to bud on trees in Spring,
And vibrantly swaying in the warm breeze of Summer,
Then fading slowing in beauty while dangling in the Autumn,
And and finally dying off in Winter
The person ends their time with you,
Sometimes without notice or reason.
Ending your relationship forever,
Because they were only there for a season.

Lifetime people teach lifetime lessons
Throughout your time on earth.
These are people that you love unconditionally,
Who you try trust undeniably,
And who you accept,
Flaws and all.

- SistaLova & ED

From The Old Book...

2007-04-04T16:41:00.000Z

When all that I am deserves so much more
Each breath taken was for you...not any more
Wanting so much
For you to be meant for me
But deep inside I’ve come to realise
Your love could never be mine

Hoping and longing
That one day you’ll up and leave
Leave her for me
But now I see that was only in my dreams
God I know was wrong
Forgive me Lord because now I see
I don’t need his second hand love to set me free.

- Soul_Full

Guys and Girls!!!

2007-03-22T22:40:00.000Z

Why do girls go to the toilet in twos?

Why do guys say they’ll call you back but never do?

Why do girls take so long to get ready?

Why are guys so paranoid?

Why are girls so paranoid?

Why are guys so persistent? You’ve said ‘no’ 1000 times but he’s still the top person in your received and missed call log.

Why do girls give mixed signals?

Why do guys like sex so much?

Why do girls like shopping so much?

Why do guys cheat?

Why do girls stay with guys that cheat?

Why do guys ask if they’re the best you’ve had?

Why do girls pretend to be something they’re not?

Why do ugly guys get really good looking girls?

Why are there more and more guys ‘coming out’?

Why do girls insist on wearing ‘crispy’ weaves?

Why are guys obsessed with the gym?

Why are girls getting more tattoos?

Why do guys wait for girls to show interest before making a move?

Why is that when girls see a guy they like, or a guy they want, he’s hooked up?

Why do guys insist on wearing their Bluetooth? (When they’re not in their car or even when there’s no reception in a venue).

Why do girls get angry when they are approached by a guy in a rave? (*correction: why do girls who wear revealing/skimpy clothes get angry when they are approached by a guy in a rave?)

Why do guys……..?
Why do girls……..?

This list could go on forever, there are many things that baffle me about guys, and I can imagine how many things baffle guys about girls. Just another post to add to the collection. Check out www.afrodivas.blogspot.com.

Random Thoughts

2007-03-15T18:11:00.000Z

WOW! A month long hiatus, where have the AfroDivas been? Really and truly guys, I have no explanation... I've just been busy... so back to our scheduled posts... lets get stuck in!!

Going on holiday. Lol. Yes I know, when am I ever not going anywhere. Going to the Big Apple, I don't know, I've always felt like there's something there for me. Grass isn't greener on the other side but I'm just hoping that in this case it is. No, I'm not a sell out, I'm just trying to find a better future for myself. This might just be my chance, if it doesn't work out, then that's fine. I just don't want to look back and think about what could've been.

I'm gone for three weeks this time, not sure how everyone will be when I come back. 'Work girl' from Random Thoughts 2 might think I've gone completely off the rails this time. LOL. IDIOT!!

I cut my hair off, for no reason at all this time. Just wanted a change! Now I wish I hadn't gone so drastic. Have you ever realised that when you want to do something or when you really want something you don't see anyone with it, but as soon as you do that 'said thing' it sems like the whole world has done it too.

I cut my hair, left the salon, went to meet my friend and practically every girl I saw had short hair. SHITE!! How can I look different? Went back again the next week and shaved off the left side .... COMPLETELY!! I hate looking like everyone else, I hate looking like the token black girl, but that has changed now because I actually do look different. It'll grow out, it's all a matter of time. I like it, my mum preferred the 'cut' I first had and my dad. Lol!! Let's just say he wasn't too pleased - but he knows the type of daughter he has. I'm not crazy like Britney!!

OK. I just have to add this quickly because if I don't, I'll forget. Basically, as my name is Gabrielle to you readers, I'm known to others as Alesha!! Don't ask, I didn't go round introducing myself as Alesha, it's all because of 'the Wood', my good friend started it all and since then it's just stuck. So, anyway the debate is whether it was 'badmind', 'dodgy' for Mike to have slept with Alesha. Background story is that Mike liked Alesha, and Alesha liked Mike (secretly), they both lost their virginity to each other whilst they both had partners. Question is, do you think that's dodgy?

Well, yes I think it is dodgy because it's not good to cheat, but then again, Alesha and Mike were made for each other. It's crazy the way life works. They ended it with their partners as soon as they had slept with each other because obviously they knew they were both wasting their time with the other person. It's not easy to have a strong opinion on this topic because if I was Alesha, I would want to find happiness, but then again if I was Alesha's partner before Mike, I obviously wouldn't be pleased that I was pushed to the side because of another guy. It all depends on who you are in the scenario, if you are a 'Mike' or an 'Alesha', your life is blessed, if you're not.... you're pissed. I guess it's just a sign for you to move on. But what do you guys think, because I know some people that don't think there's a problem with sleeping with people that they know have a partner. To me, it's nasty, plays you off as desperate. To others, its just the norm. The world we live in ey!! The world we live in.

Thanks for reading guys, this is just a quick post, haven't returned to my usual 'post every day' self, but it's getting there.

- Gabrielle xx

Feminism

2007-01-17T14:27:00.000Z

It's been a while, I know, but I've been trying to understand my way of thought, I've been trying to delve into my past. My attitude towards men is like no other I've come across and the more and more I have those 'girly talks' with my compadres, the more I realise there's something wrong.

Yes, every girl has their 'I HATE GUYS' moment, its only natural, its only expected, those moments are needed, they teach us ways in which to interact with the opposite sex in the future. But as those 'moments' last just a week for some ladies, a few months for others, my moment has lasted for what seems like forever. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not tired of being independent, I actually love it, I'm doing things for myself that others have needed help for, I'm setting myself up for plush living in the future, I've got it all planned out.

Saying that, despite my future plans and despite the fact that to some other females I actually know what I want to do in life, (well, other than breed little rascals) I feel like I should be apologetic for my thoughts and my ways. I see the way my aunts look at me when they ask me about my boyfriend and I tell them 'who needs one... not me' lool, and the way my friends look at me when I say 'I want a seperate bed to my husband' lool... but that's just my way of thinking. When I say to my aunts I don't need a boyfriend, I'm being honest, I really don't need one, 'need' is such a strong word (adjective, noun, whatever it is) no one should ever need a partner, you may want one but you should never need one. What could a boyfriend do for me at this point in time but distract me from my desired goal and make me become dependant on him, oh ok, he could provide me with pleasure that lasts a WHOLE ONE MINUTE and for that I should be ever grateful... because that ONE MINUTE explains why I should need a man. I dont think so! I just feel like having a boyfriend would destroy my purpose, thats all, and for that I'm being called a feminist. Because I suggested separate beds for my husband and I, I'm called weird, lol, ok maybe it is a bit weird but I have my reasons... I like my space and I love my sleep, I dont want HIM all up in my face when I'm trying to sleep, neither do I want HIM taking the covers when room temp. is below normal, thats just my way of thinking. Sue me!

I don't know how long my chain of thought has been like this but it comes so naturally to me that I shudder to imagine how young I was when someone betrayed me, for something to create such an impact on my life that has lasted for a few yrs, it must've been something big. I mean everyone goes through their fair share of heartbreak but why did I take it so hard? I'm not the only one that has loved someone and they didn't love back, neither am I the only one that has been dumped (oh yeh I know, Gabrielle being dumped, lets not go there... it was the days when Gabrielle was still naive as hell... the innocent days), I know I'm not the only one that those things have happened to, so why are my thoughts today still a reflection of those things.

I have no love for man, this I realised recently, your physique I'm attracted to, your thoughts amuse me, your actions inspire me, all this yet I still don't have love for man. It scares me a little because if I carry on like this I wont have the opportunity to call someone 'my better half' or be able to love like never before, do you think I'll be bitter as a result? I know I'd be far less than happy. Maybe one day I'll look back and laugh at what my friends think is ignorance but as for now, Im not going to deny my new found label. Yes, I am a feminist, I do feel like I can do everything for myself and no, I'm not going to burn my bra because thats just stupid. One thing I will do... appreciate my thoughts because thats what makes me different.

Why try so hard to fit in when GOD made us this way so we could stand out?

- Gabrielle

Career over Children

2007-01-07T14:08:00.000Z

Hey readers! New year, new start! Welcome back! This Christmas/New Year period has taken us divas away for a while, apologies. It had been so long since the last post that I thought it was about time something was written. I was unsure of what to write about as it is just the beginning of the year and nothing has happened, I was urged by a friend to talk about a topic that is starting to plague the minds of many ladies… especially me. So, I thought, why not talk about whether a woman can have a successful career and be able to look after her children at the same time. Here goes.

Basically, I think that women should go for gold, follow your dreams, try and be what you want to be - well, at least try and get your foot in the door. Why? Because I can guarantee you, I can place bets on this if I wanted to (I don’t gamble but I just needed to emphasise how strongly I feel about this), I can assure you that once a child comes into your life those dreams you once had are put on hold. Yes, you can go back to work after but it won’t ever be the same. If your choice of career is competitive, no company will wait for your return, yes, your job position will still be there, but keep in mind that during the time that you weren’t at work – you would’ve been replaced. Someone else would’ve shown hunger, dedication, commitment, someone else would’ve chosen their career over your choice of children. Someone else would’ve shown your company where their priority lies. Harsh, not really! It’s the real world, there are people that exist that know they definitely do not want children. And so in that same breath, the person that has ‘replaced’ you diminishes the demand for you to return and you go back to work thinking everything’s the same but its not. How do I know? My mum lives to tell the tale, scouted to be the next Naomi Campbell but was pregnant with me at the time, refused to work whilst pregnant and so gave up the opportunity of a lifetime. If I were her I would’ve jumped at the chance to be a model, pregnant or not. I mean who knows what my life would’ve been like now. I might have been one of those kids on MTV’s Super Sweet Sixteen. Oh! One can dream! On a more serious note, opportunities like that don’t come knocking every day, modelling is an extreme example, but being able to become something that you’ve dreamt of ever since you were in primary/secondary school, then having to put that dream on hold. I personally can’t do it. I’m not saying that it won’t happen, what I am saying is that I would prefer for it not to occur that way.

I have a simple plan. I would rather work my way to the top and find a comfortable position before I have kids. I would like to be established, find a permanent position in the firm of my choice, live in a comfortable home, drive a beautiful car, basically, achieve everything that I have dreamt of (before the husband and kids come into the scene anyway). Easier said than done. That goal could take me many years to achieve and then what, I become an old mother. NOPE! Not going to happen. Saying that, some women have regretted leaving children to the last minute, some even regretting choosing their career over the joy of having a child. Personally, I can’t imagine starting a career that I have studied and worked hard for only to fall pregnant and have my career put on hold. That phase scares me ‘put on hold’, I see too many women who put their dreams ‘on hold’, women who today are still convinced they can go back to their career when in fact they know they will never return, or women that honestly believe they can go back to work when the truth is, they cleared out your desk the moment you left them and haven’t looked back since. I guess it all depends on the type of person you are and what you feel you are capable of. I’m not doubting the fact that I wouldn’t be able to raise children, I’ve been around children my whole life, so I know its possible. I just think its an added obstacle that I wouldn't need. People might think that there is nothing wrong with that but as I said, it all depends on you as a person.

I think the only way I could have a child whilst I was working would be if my husband was a stay at home dad. I don't even want to delve in too deep about that subject but if you find a loving, caring and understanding partner who doesn't mind staying at home and looking after the kids whilst you're at work. Well, by all means go ahead. If the issue of you, as a woman, being the breadwinner is no issue in your house, then continue to work and provide for the household. Can women have a career and bring children up at the same time? It's possible, but prepare to go through the most demanding and stressful time of your life. This beats preparing a wedding, meeting the in-laws, buying or moving into a house by far. GOD SPEED! Whoever can handle that challenge, I applaud you because just thinking about it is enough to get me stressed.

- Gabrielle

Random Thoughts again...

2006-12-17T19:34:00.000Z

There's a work christmas party coming up that I really want to go to but have nothing to wear. Friends are saying that they know I have something in the cupboard... but I really don't. It pisses me off that they're telling me to come and wear anything, when I know as soon as I walk in there I'm going to feel like the tramp of the ball. Do you think they give out awards for that, being tramp of the ball. They wouldnt need to anyway, I'd probably be able to tell by the way their eyes look upon my skinny jeans, ballet pumps and dressy top. KMT! You know thats what one girl said I should wear, as if STUPID is written on my forehead. I can just picture it now, everyone's scrubbed up good, the men in their suits and ties, the women in ballgowns and flowing dresses, then Gabrielle with her skinny jeans, ballet pumps and dressy top. I know my fashion sense is a bit quirky but even I wouldnt be able to pull that off.

UPDATE - I wore an LBD (little black dress), peer pressure is a bitch! I wore a dress, please take into consideration, I really really really don't like wearing dresses or skirts. No explanation for it, I just don't. So imagine my DISGUST when I walk into the xmas party (which is supposed to be a black tie event) and I see people wearing skinny jeans, trainers, baggy jeans, timberlands... oh I could go on. The first and last time I put myself out, don't ever compromise! I should've known that was going to happen, ah well, just a very big lesson for me.

I went on a little break last week, just to get away and get all my thoughts together. A much needed break because I thought I would have a nervous breakdown otherwise. So, I went on ths break, thinking I could clear my head and when I would come back everything would be ok. WRONG AGAIN. I hadn't thought about him in days, weeks even and there I was in a different part of the world and he appears in my dream. I couldn't sleep for hours, I seriously thought it was getting better, I thought I had conquered my feelings, but its true what they say, you can't tell your heart what to do, it follows its own beat. But you can imagine how PISSED I was, I mean, COME ON, get a grip. HE DOESNT LIKE YOU, HE'S GETTING ON WITH HIS LIFE, NOW CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... GET ON WITH YOURS.

I went to a friends 21st birthday party the other day. OMG!! Can you say FLOP!! I felt so sorry for her because it was evident she had spent A LOT of money, lets just say maximum capacity was 600, why did max.70 people come. I even think I'm exaggerating the number a bit, picture that scene in your head, NOW... picture my face when I walked in. Best believe I wasnt happy. I left my warm house, braved the cold cold wind, made my feet suffer, 'cos they were cold... got in the venue and no-one was there. NOT IMPRESSED. I think what made it even worse was the fact that some NIGERIAN guy tried to dance with me, and dont get me wrong I have nothing against NIGERIANS... that's my heritage but I MEAN give me a break, he looked like someone my dad could know, actually scratch that he looks like someone my uncle would hang out with, (my uncle - my mums younger brother, not SO YOUNG though), he has a child of his own and is approaching mid 30's, now mid 30's is still by far quite young but in comparison to me, YUCK... makes me cringe, shudder, throw up... every single time I think about it.

Have you got someone at work, that is THIS CLOSE, to getting beaten up, shouted at or something. Well, there's this girl I work with, who I thought was cool but just isnt AT ALL. We knew each other before work, but you know when you can tell if someone likes you or not. Well, the 1st time I met this girl I could tell she didnt like me, I have this sense about things like that and I'm never wrong. And anyway, whats not to like about me, I guess she's just another hater. So anyway, it's like I forgot that this girl didn't like me and it's like I had amnesia about all the sly comments she used to make, we used to have a laugh at work and everything, I seriously forgot that this girl didn't like me, then the other day out of nowhere she tried to say 'I THINK I'M ALL THAT COS I WENT ON MY LITTLE TRIP, AND HOW I'VE CHANGED SINCE I CAME BACK'...baring that I went on my trip for 4 nights and 5 days, how much can you change in that period of time! Now I dont know about you, but she caught me straight off guard. I was ready to drop kick her arse, do the PEOPLE'S ELBOW, CHOKE HOLD or something (yes I do watch WWF, WWE whatever and I know they advise you not to try anything at home), but I was at work, and she got me that mad... you know when you get THAT MAD... that your whole body is confused, your thinking ten million things at once of how to hurt that person.... well that was me. I was so PISSED, it didn't even hurt my feelings, it hurt my soul, sad thing is I was ready to tell her about herself the next time I saw her at work but she's going away for christmas... I won't see her til the new year and I'm a Christian, I can't go into the new year holding a grudge, so I've had to forget about it. Very hard to do... 'cos even writing this now brings back some anger... its just all about deep breaths and repeating that 'SHE'S A HATER', cos if I dont do that, best believe there will be drama when I go back to work.

UPDATE - I've calmed down a lot since then, it's history to me now. Gabrielle has better things to worry about, not that there's something thats worrying me, but I'm just saying. There are other things I could spend my time fussing about... clothes, food, wondering how I'm going to lug my big suitcase back home, oh yes...my bank account, which is looking beautiful right now. NO LONGER BROKE! THANK YOU GOD!!

I'm going to be by myself for a few days next week, the roommates are all going back home but as my workplace requires my presence a few days longer, I have to stay before I can go home for Christmas. OH HOME... you take it for granted when you're there, but when you leave and don't go back for months on end as I have done, you miss it like... you miss it like... the way I miss ONE on ONE, or like the way I miss my beautiful room, the way I miss my secondary school and college days. Basically I miss it A LOT... and can't wait to go back.

I want to go away again, far away, the other side of the ocean. Am I selfish for not being content with where I live? Or is it just being greedy? I dont know. What I do know is that there's so many things to see in this world, and many of us are content with living in the same place, doing the same mundane routines, I can't do it. I get bored easily, its like Im itching to see new things, how the other side of the world operates. J'adore ma vie, ma famille et mes copains mais je n'aime pas le memes routines dans la vie, il y a beaucoup des choses dans la monde. Par l'annee prochaine, je veux voyager aux pays differents et peut-etre commence une nouvelle vie la-bas.

- Gabrielle

Happy Birthday To...Us!!

2006-12-16T13:22:00.000Z

Hey people! Its been year since a truly fabolous, fly and very attractive group of people came to together to create "truths from da AfroDivas"!...(o.k I may of gone overboard, but we are fly!)
The aim was to give ourselves an outlet for all the crazy things that happen daily in our lives...I think I can speak for the AfroDivas when I say its been a very fun and interesting journey. We've laughed at ourselves, created a bit of controversy and revealed a few personal truths. Its been a great tool for me to express myself and regain my passion for writing.
I know i've said this before but sometimes I really cant believe anybody, apart from us, actually reads the stuff we post on here. But since we started 4,979 have passed through. Some of you even leaving comments (although a little more of those would'nt hurt! lol), but thanks it is appreciated. Hopefully we will have a few more stories to tell and experiences to laugh at!
Peace

- SistaLova

Another BruthaDiva session...

2006-12-13T01:36:00.000Z

Don’t say ‘I love you’ first.

This kind of advice does nothing to help women. Although I had a friend once who told a guy that she loved him and his response was ‘thanks.’ Hearing "thanks" in response to "I love you" is NOT the end of the world. As adults, we need to understand that sometimes we have feelings for people that aren’t mutual and vice versa (dont get me wrong I would be a bit pissed too, lol).

If you tell someone that you love them, it should be because you actually feel that way, not because you expect them to feel the same way or to hear it in return. You definitely shouldn’t settle for a one-sided relationship, but if it’s sort of early into your relationship, give the person time. That’s where common sense comes in. "Love" is an action word so you will know if the man is falling for you (or if he isn’t interested) based on how he treats you.

Ladies,I wouldn’t suggest being aggressive but I hear some guys like that so to each his own! But holding back just because you fear rejection isn’t helpful either.

Myth 1: Men don’t know how to behave in a relationship. It is up to a woman to be patient and "teach" him how to treat her.

This theory only works in TV Land people. I know that we’ve all heard that you subconsciously teach someone how to treat you by what you accept (and don’t) from your boy/girlfriend. And I totally agree. However, a man knows whether or not he’s in a committed relationship.

- He will stop ‘getting jiggy’ with his ex
- He will call if he’s going to cancel a date
- Spending time with him and his friends does not = quality time for the two of you
- Collecting phone numbers & going on dates with other women is a no go area

And ladies don't be stupid and provide excuses like..."but this is his first serious relationship and he’s learning...blah blah blah"

Some dudes will try and play dumb but trust, he’s just trying to see what you’ll allow him to get away with.

Myth 2: Things may be a little rocky in the beginning, but things will change.

Not gonna happen. If you've just started seeing each other and he’s always "busy", giving you excuses as to why he can’t return your calls, or why he didnt make it to that meeting then two years from now things will be the same. If you continue to ignore the little things that irritate you at the beginning you cant really complain or try to change him later. Either accept it or find someone else who has time for you.

Myth 3: A man can completely fool you if you’re a victim.

How many women do you know that are or always completely blinded by men? Women are always talking about being used or cheated on by their men but there are always signs of "doginess"(is that a word??..lol) but its up to you if you chose to ignore them. For example if you've never seen where he lives and you've been together for 8 months...this is a clear red warning! lol

This doesn’t give your boyfriend the excuse to be a complete prick, neither does it mean you should be critical of everyone you meet. Its simple, common sense should be our guide.

Myth 4: A man should accept you for who you are.

Not necessarily. Are you the best you that you can be? Are you difficult? What is your character? How do you treat people in your life? In most circumstances you should be accepted for who you are, but not if you’re crazy. We can always better ourselves and sometimes it takes someone we love to do that.

Now I know a few people are going to have a problem with what I've said in todays session. So leave a comment and i'll tell you why your wrong...lol!

Peace

- BruthaDiva

I'm not usually this girly...

2006-11-20T21:53:00.000Z

A while ago I was suffering from "writers block" (like i always do!...lol) and a really good friend told me to write as if i was in love. I thought he was crazy, but it worked. Thanks "bruv"!

Today I poured my soul into the air . . .
Trying to compose words to describe exactly how I feel about you
I sat all morning trying to find a way to explain it . . .
And every time I thought I had it . . .
I realised that it was probably something you had heard before . . .
But, what I feel is different . . .
Words would be too weak to describe feelings this strong.
I've sat here trying to rearrange the fragments of my heart
Into something meaningful that you could wrap your mind around
You have to know that I have never experienced an emotion such as this
One that leaves me speechless
And all I can do is talk around it . . . and not about it
How can I possibly write down this emotion?
What language can really express the impression you have made upon me?
I've sat here trying to capture the phrases and sentences
That could get through to you how out of everybody in the world
You are the only person that has ever been necessary to me
I guess I could tell you that you're my first . . . my last . . .my best . . . my only
I guess I could say how I've known from the beginning that you are all I need . . .
How it was an overload of all my senses when I met you
How cupid didn't just hit me with one of his little arrows
But instead, hit me with a blast of knowledge that you were IT for me
And I KNEW . . .
And I still know . . .

Normally I would think this was impossible if it was'nt happening to me
This feeling is that powerful, that amazing, that strong, and that deep
To put it simply . . . I love you
And those are not just words
They are an expression, an oath, and a promise . . .
They are everything
And I hope and pray that they are enough.

- SistaLova

Random thoughts!

2006-11-14T12:21:00.000Z

• I want to find him, I know he’s out there

• Why do people call you the most when you’re trying to sleep?

• I wanna move, I’m thinking Venice

• My younger siblings are growing up and I’m not around to see it

• I really love my mum. I think I would go crazy (literally) if anything
happened to her. God forbid.

• I’m broke!

• I think my best friend is going to get married before me

• I realised I have this instinct to want to please people even if it really
inconveniences me.

• I want chocolate, scratch that I just want some food. Been real hungry
recently.

• The relationship between my dad and I is becoming more and more distant by
the day. I could not talk to him for months and I wouldn’t feel anything. Is
that bad?

• I love my fellow AfroDivas, seriously! Imagine out of the 20yrs I’ve been on
this earth, its only a few months ago that I met ladies that complement my
views, people I feel really comfortable with.

• Is it weird for me to acknowledge when a girl is pretty? I dunno I just have
to look at them. I can’t help it. Lol.

• I can’t hold eye contact with people I truly care about. Guys that I like or
if I feel really guilty about something.

• You think people recognise how important I am when they see me – I mean do
people analyse how important you must be and respond to you on a scale of 1
to 10 (10 being the most important). When I feel some people talk to me like
I’m on scale 1.

• Ok I’m feeling sorry for myself now.

• I’m leaning towards the younger guys – am I a cradle snatcher? Lol. Oh well!
I don’t care, its better to get some than none at all.

• LMAO! Oh you know I ain’t getting none, AARGH my life. (B.F. Why are you
laughing at me?)

• My best friend thinks I’m gonna come out the closet soon.

• I like 2 guys at work, but I don’t know whether I really like them or I’m
trying to keep myself occupied.

• Thoughts of my ex disgusts me. I shudder when I think about me and him.
Why did I get in that relationship?

• You know I like you right – you just do certain things to annoy me. I know
you don’t like me like that, its something I’m going to have to deal with.

• I want a car. God provide me with a car – not no banger though. I want to
ride in style.

• You think we could really be like GIRLFRIENDS, you know that would be sooo
cool, like AARGH so cool. Even if we were still based here, but everyone
had their own thing going on. Life is but a dream.

• I could go on all day, I actually think too much. Back to my hustle,
studying and working.

• I need a sugar daddy! OK, change that to 'I would like', it's hard being so
independent.

- Gabrielle

Soon Come...

2006-11-07T20:25:00.000Z

Hey people It been a while since I posted anything on here, and since a few of you like my other story "Untitled" I thought of writing another one...enjoy!

Rewinding the moments back to when I saw him earlier that day. He met me outside of my 2 p.m. chemistry lecture. At first I thought he was there waiting for someone else. I mean, he was one of the most "on point brothas" on campus and while I had my own selection of admirers, he was a cut above the rest. 6'3, a body carved straight out of the mold of an African warrior with skin as dark and edible as Godiva chocolates and the whitest teeth I think I'd ever seen on a human being...wow

and he was waiting there at the entrance of my class. For me.

"Hey Lauren," he said as I walked up to him.

"Hey Ashley," I replied using all the strength in my body to remain cool even though everything in me was shivering, right down to my liver.

"Can I walk you to your next class?"

*HELL YEAH!

"sure."

So we're walking and I'm looking at him on the sly, stealing pieces of his fine form to store away in my mind for those days when eye candy is lacking and I need a reminder of perfection.

I never imagined what would be happening roughly ten hours later.

we hadn't spoken much during the walk to class, mainly small talk about the weather and such. It was obvious to me that he was slightly challenged in the mental department. But eh, I was young and shallow and really didn't give a shit about his conversational skills. It was just nice being escorted across campus by one of the most sought after guys there. I was wearing him like a rapper wears ice around their neck, flaunting him in front of the females like he was ten carats. Just waiting for the girls to whisper among themselves about how big and flawless that diamond was on my arm.

Yeah, yeah...it was that ridiculous.

Anywhoo, after he walked me to my next class I didn't see him until later that evening. It was about 9 p.m and I was in my dorm room playing blackjack with the boys and the phone rang.

"Come, jam over at mine...i'll meet you downstairs to walk you over."

*Hmmm...I see, "jam" eh?

"O.K."

He had me pinned up against the wall and was kissing me like he had been locked up and hadnt seen a woman in years. The lighting was dim except for the lone street light casting a weak ray of light onto the space from about fifty yards away. His body was pushed up against mine. we were kissing feverishly, running our hands over each other like water, making sure to touch upon every inch of each other as we grasped, squeezed and caressed each other for what seemed like hours but was really only for a few minutes.

I heard a soft whimper, it sort of sounded like a wounded dog. My head was spinning and he wasn't letting me come up for air so I broke off the kiss with a gasp. I glanced up as his silhouette, wondering if that noise had come from him. But he simply showed me his perfect smile and said nothing.

We finally reached his dorm room and proceeded to undress each other, I heard the whimper again. It sounded like a dying dog or something, high and squeaky. Ashley's half dressed body started trembling around me, It scared the SHIT out of me. And unlike the first time this sound was LOUD, like it was a woman AND her dog getting stabbed multiple times. After a akward moment or two he whispered...

"sorry"

So Im staring at his 6'3, edible african warrior frame and wondering how he could sound like an elderly woman and her little poodle being chased by a killer when he "reaches" and how he managed to "reach" without anything happening. As we walked back to my dorm in complete silence I wonder if maybe I imagined it. Then I stole a look at him and saw his embarrassment and knew I hadn't. The next question in my mind was how exactly were we gonna act around each other.

uh, I found out the answer to that the next day.

So im in my last class of the day unable to concentrate as im still reflecting on last nights action or lack thereof. When my phone vibrates in my pocket...its a message from Chantel my longest and closet friend. Asking if we could meet up. I reply back telling her to meet me at The Set, our favourite spot. It had a cozy atmosphere, featured a mixture of different people and had great food. The perfect place to catch up on some girly gossip. Chantel knew everything about everybody and although she could use this to her advantage she didnt, it just was'nt in her to go behind peoples backs. I guess thats why we were so close I knew that she could always keep a secret.

After having a quick catch up of what our days were like, Chantel glanced at me with that look she had whenever she knew something I did'nt.

"what is it?"

"what exactly happened with you and Ashley last night?"

"huh?"

*how does she know?

"Ashley's been telling everyone about you becoming a freak when he hooked up with you"

"What!!"

I yelled so loud the waitress passing us dropped a customers order. Apparently that "lil' punk, screaming like a bitch when he reaches" had told everyone that he called and I came running. He also informed people that I begged him to sleep with me! can you believe this shit!

After explaining what really happened, Chantel pointed out that I had two options either confront him and expose him for the lying rat he was or simply ignore it. But the more I thought about the situation the angrier I grew. I mean this was my reputation at stake. What was a girl to do?

- SistaLova

A Letter to You...

2006-11-05T23:31:00.000Z

Men are so immature, NO for real! I can't believe I swooned over this guy, pictured a future with him and now this guy won't even talk to me. See... it's for this reason that I don't find fault with lesbians. Yes, I know, I don't support it but I can understand why a perfectly beautiful woman would choose to fall in the arms of a heavy set, well built woman than the defined arms of a man.

My theory of older guys not being as much hassle as younger guys has since been thrown out the window. A good 4 yrs older than me but I feel like I'm dealing with someone with the same mindset as those HYPE boys I once knew in college. The trend nowadays is the 'younger' guy and having previously touched on this subject I came to the conclusion that I couldn't do it but recent events have made me feel a lot differently specially since one of my younger cousin's friedns is totally cute, (so many candidates) - just not sure of their young feeble minds. But at this point talking to them seems more productive than talking to HIM.
Argh, he gets me so riled up sometimes 'cos I wasted valuable time thinking about our prospects, seeking advice from others about what I should do. I shoulda known when my best friend said, 'he's a wasteman' to stay clear. And don't start getting judgemental, my 'b.f.' says everyone is a wasteman, he doesn't want me to be with anyone, just as a father or brother doesnt want their female relative to come across the opposite sex in fear of all the things they did to other girls coming back to them indirectly with the mistreatment of their 'girl'. It's all irony anyway, 'what goes around comes around.'

So I haven't spoken to this fool for 2 weeks now, and yes I'm pissed, I have a reason to be angry. You know what it feels like, it feels like that friend you used to ALWAYS defend when people used to bitch about her but then ends up turning against you with the rest of your clique.
It feels exactly like that, it feels like 'why the hell did I speak to you in the first place, why on God's green earth did I think we could be friends, why... even after my 'b.f.' had died you down (dismissed your existence) I decided to relate to you anyway.'
For you to f***ing do this and go on like I did you something. If anything, there's no reason why you shouldn't be talking to me. You know what, you're DUMB! You're actually an IDIOT, and I hope you read this. Do you know how I worked my butt off calling round, making sure everything was set for your event, taking time out of my learning schedule to help your sorry arse. I didn't ask you to come to my uni, HELL why did you come?
All I know is, I've been distressed, distraught because I was upset about you not talking to me. I actually felt upset, that's just the 'kindness' in me, I won't ever make that mistake again.

I hadn't seen or spoken to you for years before we bumped into each other again so it doesn't really pay no importance to me if that night I saw you was the last time for the rest of my life. Feed off that MORON!
Why couldn't you voice what was bothering you? Why couldn't you show me that you weren't happy about what happened. I mean even I wasn't happy. But there you were tryna act like a HARD man, when you know the fact that the event didn't turn out the way you planned it BURNT you. It even BURNT ME, but you're gonna try and lay blame on me and you don't even have the decency to tell me that's the way you feel. You can pretend like thats not what is going on, but as I always say 'mama didn't raise no fool', from 10+ calls every evening discussing the event and everything else to 0 calls the night of the event, for 2 weeks now. Nah, I'm not stupid.
But anyway go on with your bad self, I realise that you didn't really know me, 'cos if you did you would know crying, sulking, tantrums don't make me sympathise with you. Coming to me as a bigger person and telling me what's going on in your head makes me respect you. More fool you if you think after writing this I'm gonna acknowledge you, you don't exist to me no more.

Have a nice life.

- Gabrielle

I know it's heated readers but this was holding me back from being myself, I just needed to let this steam off, I was acting 'too cool for school', letting all this mess get to me. Never again.
Readers, I'm back. And if I ever, ever try to go soft on you guys again, let me know, it's time I turned the tables... for every person that upset you, ever made you feel like you were lower than them, just ever made you start tripping... well, this letter goes out to them.

Kiss my fabulous arse 'cos you are NEVER going to make me feel like that again.

UPDATE
I wrote this and spoke to him like 2 days after, HE was going on like nothing happened, when I know it did. I wasn't even going to publish this post because infact I did speak to him, and that would contradict everything I wrote in the letter, but I've decided to post it because despite the fact that we spoke, we're still not cool and that letter allowed me to vent, I didn't know I was this angry 'til I read the letter back. NOW... I'm not angry anymore, it's just one of those things... this will be a lesson to me though.

My kindness will be taken for weakness, that's life - there's nothing I can do about it. Just because of this one incident I can't stop being nice, one day someone is really going to need it, and they will appreciate it, so until then imma have to keep being nice... as I said 'its just one of those things.'

Emotional makeovers

2006-10-26T23:20:00.000Z

OK. New start, new attitude, new clothes! LOL!! I wish. But anyway less about me, I read in ELLE (if you don’t know this about me I’m an avid ELLE reader, the thrills and excitement of fashion still calls me to this day.) Back to what I was saying, I read in ELLE that when a woman is getting over a break-up, basic instincts is to cut her hair off. They said that a woman can make herself over emotionally and physically (even her wardrobe) but cutting her hair makes it more drastic, makes it seem like she really is taking control of her life. Some women want to physically show their exes that they have moved on, you could have matured, even changed your sense of style but nothing shouts ‘I’m over you’ like a drastic new haircut.
As I read this I started laughing, I mean come to think of it most girls I know that cut their hair just got out of a break-up or out of something that affected their lives drastically. Then I analysed why I cut my hair and NO, it wasn’t because I had broken up with my boyfriend. I cut my hair because I was turning 18 and wanted a new look, I wanted to look mature.

I can recall the events like it was yesterday:

I’d been thinking about cutting my hair for a while, I wasn’t pleased with my appearance and I felt like I looked like any other regular black chick. I thought a 'cut' would solve the problem and so proceeded with that plan. Went to the hairdressers and she carried out my request, all I kept hearing was gasps and ‘oh my gosh’ but I need to describe what I felt. It felt like an out of body experience, no joke, when my hair was falling to the floor I felt no anxiety. I felt at peace when my hair was being cut, it was so surreal. I felt like the ‘old’ me was dying away with every strand of hair that was being cut. Like I was a new person, I looked and felt like a totally different person. All in my state of mind ergo but it didn’t matter, it was my re-birth!
Ever since that day I haven’t looked back, I had a few wild moments that I will take to my grave. It gave me a confidence I never knew was in me, I mean before I used to hide behind my hair, having the short hair meant I couldn’t hide behind anything, my face was out there. I wasn’t extremely quiet but you know how it is, sometimes you just don’t feel like talking but that all changed… I learnt how to interact.
As much as the short cut made me feel liberated, it brought out a side of me I’d rather keep locked inside. I cheated on my then boyfriend, I met up with a guy that I’d known for literally 10 seconds and had a rather steamy rendezvous- lets not get into that.
It’s like I became one of those girls who are on ‘lock’ for many years then when they go off to uni they turn wild, the difference with me is that my living arrangements never changed, nothing changed except my outlook on life. I mean it wasn’t a drastic change, but it was a change. The compliments about my new look, the attention I was getting, the extended freedom I had… all went to my head.

So anyway, I got home that night and my mum was extremely angry with me but I didn’t care, I really didn’t. I was on this high, its unexplainable!
Then my house phone rang, my mum told me it was my 'then' boyfriend, so I was excited. I was going to tell him that I cut my hair and how I hoped he wouldn’t be angry with me. I was just going to share my basic feelings with him as I always did but before I could even say any of that… he broke up with me.
BUMMER!!

Technically, I had cut my hair before he broke up with me so it didn’t count as a repercussion of his actions, but that drastic move made it easier for me to get on with my life. In a way I knew it wasn’t going to work, cutting my hair was just a sign of things to come.

- Gabrielle

The Art of Maintaining Eye Contact

2006-10-02T21:29:00.000Z

Specialist: SistaHood

Guinea Pigs: Gabrielle
SistaLova

The aim of this experiment is to see how far eye contact can carry you.

The eye contact theory according to SistaHood is one that conjures up a certain confidence between both parties to take that extra step and talk to each other, this goes against the many times you have seen a ‘potential’ and just let him/her walk pass.

As I was supposed to be ‘chirspin the man dem’ and yet haven’t come across a potential, I have mastered the art of flirtatious chat with practically any guy I come across. Whether it be the guy who took my order in Nandos, the guy who held the lift for me at work or even one of my ‘cute’ lecturers from my last year. I know, I know. The last one is a bit dodge but he’s just too cute … So we decided to carry out the experiment and see what happens.

Scenario 1

The three of use are on the train coming back from an outing and decide to try the experiment on the train. LOL. Hilarious outcome. The guy we wanted to make ‘eye contact’ with, got on the next carriage and we were left trying the experiment with some rockhead, now I have absolutely nothing against rockheads, their fashion sense inspires me, but if I show you a picture, even you’d be scared. We weren’t even carrying out the experiment on him (we decided not to) but the looks he was giving us made me wonder whether those are the same looks a murderer gives to his victim before he kills him. Yes it was that deep, I never exaggerate! So that one fell through but it didn’t deter us, well it didn’t deter me. I believe in the ‘eye contact’ theory and I know it works. Just have to find the right candidate.

- Gabrielle

Spot The Difference...

2006-09-26T22:57:00.000Z

Press play...

Music Video Codes By Music.com

- Ms TooFly

Untitled..Part 3

2006-09-22T22:04:00.000Z

Kevin listened as I phoned Max on his mobile. Sobbing, I told him the wedding was off. This was it...at long last.
"It's just jitters...We can fix any problems" Max repeated, so much so that I finally said "ok". The Courage I thought was there was beginning to fade fast. And putting down the phone, I fell into Kevins arms and sought solace in ?? The next morning Kevin left for work, looking dazed with silent defeat. I felt the same as I got ready to have my nails done. Then I put on my long white lace dress and left for Wandsworth Register Office. I cast my eyes down as I vowed to be faithful to the man I'd already betrayed. As I said my "I do's" the image of Kevin appearing and saving me replayed in my mind.
Max seemed to glow with joy, while I just wanted to run.... But it was too late. At the reception I just wanted scream and end my "happy bride" charade. Instead I snuck off and phoned Kevins mobile, "Why did you go through with it?" he yelled."Don't hate me" I replied, then I left my own reception.
Back home I found Kevin crying in the living room. "I'm leaving", he said. "Your life is with Max now." "No, you can't!" I screamed, panicking. "I'll tell him..." So I went back to the reception, but seeing Max's joy, I just returned his caresses with my own guilt-ridden Judas kiss.
Finally, when we arrived home, Kevin was gone. Max took me upstairs, we sat on our bed and he placed the softest kiss on my neck.
How could he be so happy, so innocent?? I'd lost everything that meant anything to me. Now so would Max.

"I'm seeing someone else," I blurted. "We had sex last night". "What?" Max flinched. He looked almost disbelieving, but the expression on my face told him I wasn't lying.
"Who?"
"Kevin", I whispered.
"How could you?" he erupted in sudden anger. But even he now realised the depth of my sordid deceit. Not only was Kevin my lover but I had bodly moved him into our home. Speechless with rage and grief, he stormed out and I wept with guilt at hurting him. As stupid as it sounds marrying Max had finally made it clear that it was Kevin I loved. So I rushed to phone him, "Max is gone". "I dont believe you," Kevin snapped hanging up the phone.
And that night, my wedding night, for the first time in months, I spent it sleeping alone. The next day I was bombarded with furious phone calls from my friends and family ashamed of my behaviour. Shamefully my only response was sorry. But when Max called I didn't answer. Instead, I rang Kevin, craving his touch...no reply. I'd lost them both.

- SistaLova

Untitled.. Part 2

2006-09-12T16:03:00.000Z

"I love you, SL...leave Max". "I'll call off the wedding" I promised. Yet each time I returned to my loving fiance, I was just too weak. So I chose not to choose. Switching off guilt, I abandoned myself to this madness.

A month before the wedding I was driving with Kevin, when I realised I'd left my credit card at home. "We'll call in and collect it....I'll tell Max you're my cousin." (I know, I know your thinking what a complete bitch, well...yes.)

Anyway my family was huge and Max was so trusting, I knew he'd believe me. Sure enough..."nice to meet you," Max smiled. Kevin grinned as they chatted, and so did I. I'd got away with it! Two weeks on, Kevin was having problems with his living arrangements and needed a new place to stay, the solution was obvious. "Stay with us," I said "We can't do that...its not right" kevin said shocked. I pleaded with him, terrified that if he did'nt have anywhere to stay, he'd leave London. Reluctantly Kevin agreed. Then I asked Max if he could have the spare room..."of course" he said.

Poor, innocent and naive. He had no idea the moment he left for work, Kevin would slip into our still warm bed and make love to me. But how was he to know? we still slept together and in a few weeks, we'd be celebrating our love on a romantic honeymoon in Fiji. Every day that passed, my nerves got worse. Max even invited Kevin to our wedding. "I'm sorry, I've got to work,". Later, he cornered me. "You've got to call off the wedding," he said. "We can't do this to Max." But it had gone on for too long and I was terrified of owning up now. "I can't do it," I sighed. Instead, I daydreamt about Kevin turning up at the ceremony and stopping the proceedings.

The eve of our wedding seemed to come around suddenly. Max kissed me goodbye. He was spending the night at his mum's,leaving Kevin and I alone. "See you at the altar," Max smiled to me... "Love you". As the door shut I replied "Me too".
Then a long, charged silence fell between Kevin and I. We were all alone. I broke down and with the tears came the courage I should of had weeks earlier. "I've got to tell Max I cant go through with it".

- SistaLova

Deep Down

2006-09-11T16:03:00.000Z

I’ve wanted to write on the site for a while but to no avail. Things have been happening to me but I just didn’t have the desire to write about it, there are some things I wanted to keep private and in the portrayal of myself being an independent young lady in this blog, it further disturbed me to write anything negative or depressing, I really wanted to upkeep my readers’ perceptions of me and I didn’t think sharing my weak moments would do that. Honestly, my moments of weakness distress me and I just couldn't bear to share. I only wanted to ever show the ‘Gabrielle’ that is confident, brave, outspoken, feisty; I didn’t want to share the side of me that experiences moments of loneliness, sadness, indecisiveness, basically the moments when I’m in a ‘funk’… but I’ve decided to share my thoughts at such a time, I mean writing could help me try and understand why I feel like this.

‘I’m cursed, with loving you baby,
It hurts ‘cos you’ll never know it
I was put here to hopelessly love you
You ain’t thinking bout me
That’s the torture I go through’

Words of Vivian Green ‘cursed’, I’ve put it on repeat, and even though I’ve listened to this song like a million times before, it’s only now that I’m understanding what she’s saying. Before I was just singing the lyrics because it sounded good, now when I sing the lyrics I mean every word I say because I’m going through it, I’m experiencing the ‘hurt’ that most singers talk about in their slow jam sessions firsthand and it hurts because I think I love him, I actually think I love him yet despite that he’ll never know how I feel.

I think about him all the time, I can’t help it; I try and reminisce on all the conversations we’ve had just so I can think about him more. I think about the future we could have together, the many memories we could share, then out of nowhere I snap out of my daydreams and crash back to reality. I hate that moment. It’s like I’m in total happiness, it’s so surreal, then that joy is taken from me when I start to think about the real situation and there’s nothing I can do about it. I stare at his name in my phone for what seems like ages, re-read the texts he’s sent me and try to save the voicemails he’s left me for as long as possible, then it dawns on me that I need to get over him. I need to forget about him, if I can’t be with him I doubt I’ll move on. The fact that I like him so much is probably the reason why I can’t commit to other guys, why I can’t picture myself in a relationship or even getting married. My feelings for him run so deep, I’ve liked him for so long and I’m tired. I want this chapter of my life to close, its been such a hindrance to any progression in my love life, the fact that I can't be with him doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t move on with my life but its like my heart doesn’t want to know. I can’t even think about committing to anyone else, the thought alone makes me sick and that’s only because I’ve pictured myself with him for so long that I don’t know anything else.

So I’m in one of those moods, I don’t know whether to call him and just come out with it, (but that poses so many risks to me that I’m not willing to take) or stay silent. Yes, I could tell him that I like him, (well, its much more than ‘like’ now but I’ve got to play it cool) but that presents the risk of him telling me he likes me ‘just as a friend’, I cant take that, I haven’t pictured him as a friend, but as my partner, my companion, my best friend, my soul mate. I can’t describe the feeling I get when I think about the situation, it’s like my heart literally sinks, I can tell it’s not happy, but what do I do? I’m not ready to come clean about the way I feel about him because I don’t want to lose him totally but I know one of these days I am going to lose him. Its like everyday I’m waiting, waiting with baited breath because I know sooner or later he’s going to tell me he’s found ‘the one’ and it won’t be me. That he’ll introduce me to her and all I’ll be thinking is ‘she isn’t right for you’, that he’ll get married and whilst he’s moving on with his life, I’ll still be there hoping that he realises that he’s made a mistake. But see, I don’t want to get to a point in my life where I look around and everyone’s settled apart from me, that’s why I want to make amends now, I guess my constant thinking about it has driven me to be in this ‘funk’, I don’t know how its going to turn out but whatever happens, its all a part of my productive future right? Oh, I hope so… I really do.

- Gabrielle

Untitled.. Part I

2006-09-08T20:12:00.000Z

Tumbling into bed and making passionate love, I felt as hot and sultry as the air around us. "you're gorgeous", Kevin panted. "So are you", I moaned. Wasn't this the perfect ending to the perfect holiday? Because I was a 19 year old student from North London, and i'd met Kevin on a two and half month holiday while visting my aunt on the beautiful, sunkissed island of Trinidad.
Kevin was 30 and although there was a substantial age difference it was never an issue. He worked in a bank and was planning on emigrating to London himself soon. We met on the beach, spending most of our time swimming or with him showing me the hottest nightclubs in town.
Four days before I was due to fly home, we were at Kevins two bedroom apartment. What started out as a simple meal ended with us sharing our first steamy night together...after that moment of passion I sat up from Kevin and began to cry. Confusion whirled inside me like a tornado, picking emotions and putting them in places they didnt belong.
what was i doing??...what about Maxwell??...I'm engaged!

Maxwell was the same age as me. He was sweet, funny and charming you know, the guy you want to take home to meet mum. Well, he was waiting for me back at our home in London. We were together for two years and our wedding was only seven months away. I told Kevin that I had someone back home. But he did'nt care and just told me that I was the only one for him and only he could truly sweep me off my feet, and in the time we were together he really did.
But even so, I dried my eyes and put my clothes back on in the knowledge that Maxwell was the one I was going to marry. So there was no guilt. I'd go back home, pretend this naughty "little blip" had never happened.

When I got back home it was clear Max had missed me as he tried to tempt to bed, I hesitated..."whats wrong?" he asked. "I'm tired," I lied. Truth was I just could'nt shake the thoughts of Kevin and that night. But I really wanted to forget him and move on with my future husband, so I threw myself into creating the perfect wedding. Four weeks on, i was driving when my phone rang....Kevin. "Im moving to London in three months, can we meet?" I dont think I even let him finish asking me before I said yes. Suddenly I wanted him more than ever, I wanted him so badly it scared me. I knew that I should'nt, mustn't....we'll just be friends, I convinced myself.
So when we met, that desire sprang back to life. "You look great" he smiled, his feelings hadn't changed either. I tried to maintain some distance, making smalll talk about Kevins shared flat and my wedding plans. Yet as I went to go back to Max, Kevin pleaded for us to meet again. "OK", I mummbled...what can I say, I was weak...a coward even, too cowardly to say NO or tell Max I was having doubts about getting hitched. I continued to secretly meet Kevin and our sexually charged conversations led to us picking up from that night in Trinidad. As cruel as it sounds when I was with Kevin any thoughts of Max simply disappeared in the shadows.

- SistaLova

Writing Is Therapy...

2006-09-04T09:31:00.000Z

Life has been...a bit of a bitch lately, making it hard for me to write something that makes sense and not like a crazy black woman. So excuse me while i have a "moment" to vent.

How did we end up here again?
Seems like arriving here is becoming a trend
In this situation we just can’t win
All good at the beginning . . . fucked up at the end
Two hearts are now broken just because they wouldn’t bend
You could of been my one true love
But right now I dont even want you as a friend
This time round I refuse to contemplate shoulda woulda coulda been’s
And play each other’s heartstrings like violins
Simply put...
My patience with this is wearing thin
And this chapter has now come to its natural end.

* Gabrielle you were right, I feel better already.

- SistaLova

Maturity

2006-08-17T00:04:00.000Z

I think I’m becoming more and more mature everyday. I mean obviously I’m still that goofy, nonsensical girl but I think I’m starting to understand the world. As random as that statement seems I feel like I’ve found my place. I’m not saying that in finding my place I’m pleased with wherever I am now, because that’s not the case. I still have a lot of things to accomplish but I’ve summarised my whole character… and I think I understand why I’m the way I am.

Like, I used to get frustrated with myself, I used to despise my kind nature. I despised it because it was such a natural thing for me to do… be nice. You know for some people it takes a lot more than human nature to be nice to a person. And that’s an issue I was dealing with…. my kindness.

Kindness can be despised… I know that for sure. I despised it because I felt like there were times when I was being taken advantage of… I can’t describe it fully, but I felt like there were things that people did to me that they could not get away with elsewhere. And this was down to my kind nature… I wanted to be tough and unapproachable so that I wouldn’t be taken advantage of. I felt like my kindness was being taken for weakness and I didn’t like it.

Days and years of being nice to people and having my kind gestures thrown back into my face. To tell you the truth it hurt, it hurt so bad I wanted to cut off everybody I spoke to… at one point I did… I stopped talking, stopped socialising, stopped being me. Yes, I was depressed but I felt that by doing what I did I wouldn’t be hurt again.

It worked. It actually worked, but at what price. I had no friends… people would always ask for me and ask about me through my family… because they hadn’t seen me in so long but I didn’t care for them anymore. I’d had enough. My family were my friends, I guess it brought me closer to my siblings but coherently drew me from my friends.

I forgot how to socialise… I didn’t know what to say to a person, I didn’t know what to do. So parties, gatherings, and meetings basically, any event going on where I would have to talk was out of the question. All I would do is nod my head or give people a faint smile.

I thought I was hiding all this but in fact I was being blatantly obvious… such a drastic change from how I used to be. I guess mother’s intuition didn’t help either. My mum knew something was wrong from the get go… this upset me even more because I didn’t think I was showing any signs of withdrawal at home. But I guess I was. And so I confided in her as you do… and I explained how I felt.

Mothers are so wise and to them we owe mostly everything… the real gratitude goes to God obviously. She said to me that I am the way I am, nothing can be done about it. Yes, I might try and change but if that’s not the way God has made me, I can’t possibly change. In as much as I didn’t want to agree with her… I had to. My personality, my kind nature… even better my social ability… however much has been affected by society, still won’t defer me from being the way God made me. I refer back to that notion any time I’m upset…. well it helps me. I think I’m becoming more and more mature every day……

- Gabrielle

My Emotions

2006-08-14T21:07:00.000Z

I can only write about what I’m feeling, only truly express my emotions concerning an important matter. I’ve done some soul searching, been in constant thought about my future, and finally, after all my deep moments I can come to the conclusion that maybe its not necessary to know every single thing that’s going to happen in your future. Its not necessary to try and plan every little detail, because simply and truly not everything is going to run as clockwork… that’s just the way life is.

He came yesterday, after how many months of waiting for him to arrive. I don’t believe in love at first sight but when I saw him, I knew something had to happen between us, if we just became friends, or we became partners… I knew something had to happen. Its so hard to explain. When I used to see guys I used to get this weird feeling in my stomach and that used to happen when they were really cute, or when I hadn’t seen a guy I liked in ages or something, now… that doesn’t happen. Its like all those feelings I used to have, they’ve disappeared. But its like if I see a guy now, I can acknowledge how cute he is without being phased; I just go about my business, back to normal. But as soon as I saw HIM, its like my whole body just exhaled, I felt at peace… weird I know, if only I could make you guys feel exactly what I’m talking about.

But its like now I can see a guy and actually connect with him, beyond words or touching or whatever, that’s what happened with ‘him’. When I can jus look at this ‘guy’ and feel like there’s no one else in the room, or when this guy smiles and its like I would do anything to see that smile again, or when he says something and I dote on every word, or even when I look at him just once but yet seem to take in all his features. I don’t know whether this is real, it could just be affection from my side but can you imagine how blissful life is for those so deeply connected. It’s like everything could be going wrong for you at that moment, but seeing that person makes everything better. I don’t know whether this will become of anything, this might be the first and last meeting between us, all I know is my view of love has changed… and it doesn’t seem as bad as I used to think.

It took so long for him to come, but in a way I’m happy it did. He text me after our meeting … he felt the same way I did, it just makes it that much more meaningful.

- Gabrielle

SexyBack Exclusive...

2006-07-26T20:46:00.000Z

I promised you guys that as soon as it was out it would be on the site....so here it is. I have'nt had a chance to look @ it yet so i cant comment, but you lot can...Enjoy!

- Ms TooFly

The TooFly Review...

2006-07-24T21:46:00.000Z

Method Man is back with a new album "4:21...The Day After" released on 29th August. The album features special guest appearances from Fat Joe, Styles P, Ginuwine and Redman with production by RZA, Erick Sermon, Scott Storch.
Eric Sermon provided the beat for the first single, "Say" featuring Lauryn Hill. This track is basically Method Man addressing critics, fickle fans and haters. Personally i'm loving this song, I swear I've been playing it non-stop. Im so happy to hear some new material from Lauryn Hill as well and cant wait for her to release a new album.

Enjoy...

Method Man Feat. Lauryn Hill - "Say"

P.S. Thanks to Hip Hop Ruckus for the track

- Ms TooFly

Yesterday

2006-07-21T09:32:00.000Z

Yesterday was a turn of events for me. Let's start from the top:

I've been talking to this guy for a while now, I have to admit compared to the amount of time I spend concentrated on one guy, I've liked him for a long time. I mean I liked him when I started going out with my ex, I didn't act on it though because obviously I was in a relationship and I wasn't goint to be a 'cheater'.

So anyway, I was always talking to this guy, as a 'friend' but it only just heated up a few weeks back. Met up with him a few times, talked on the phone, blah blah blah... so there's me thinking I'm good to go, how wrong could I have been?
See my friends see me as the 'issue', but I'm starting to realise that it's not me at all... guys I talk to are usually on some 'pride' ish and wanna play games. Maybe I've been expecting too much from these guys but you can't help but hope that each guy you talk to will be different from the last. I hate being left in the dark, so I let you know from the get go whether I like you or not... and I expect the guy to do the same. But why is it so hard for a guy to express himself... I'm not asking you to lie to me, I'm asking you to tell me the truth. Be honest! If you don't like me, just say so. I seriously won't take offence, and I know I won't take offence because it's like me waiting around for something to develop between me and this guy and he doesnt even have feelings for me. Lol. I can't do that. I'd rather move on, as they say 'there's plenty more fish in the sea'. So why the hell is this guy... lets call him 'X' keeping me hanging around.

You're probably thinking... why don't you forget about him? Trust me, that has been an option but if I decide to make him a character of my past.. I can guarantee you he will never be in my future. Harsh, but that's the way I operate. Basically I dont want to forget about this guy, move on, and then him come back to me and express the way hes feeling. It's happened too many times... lol... actually it's the story of my life. Every guy I show interest in, they don't show me whatever they're thinking at that time, so then I move on. Then, a few months later, maybe even a year later, this guy pops out of the blue and wants to tell me he likes me... ok, so what do you want me to do about it? I really don't want this to continue. I mean how much longer can I take this? Anyway, I guess it'll stop when I get married right.... but who said I wanted to get married. Lol. OK OK... you guys know I'm playing right, of course I want to get married but why is it so much hassle to get to that point?

You know what I actually digressed from the point I was trying to make, I was supposed to talk about what happened to me yesterday. Ah well next post!

Til next time....

- Gabrielle

Resistance is the Key!!

2006-07-20T10:51:00.000Z

Having a guy best friend is so beneficial to me especially when I'm just so clueless about 'the game theory.' LOL. Talking to him makes me feel better, just seeing his side of things lets me know how guys think. Why they behave the way they do? A lesson I've learnt from him - RESISTANCE.

I'm gonna be honest and say that Gabrielle did lose her cool a few months back. I was totally intrigued by some guy I knew, lost contact with and bumped into again. I thought he could be the ONE, I thought he could be good to me, I thought he would be the one to make me feel complete. BLAH BLAH BLAH. As I said Gabrielle lost her cool, I really did. It got to the point where I was frustrated with the guy for not showing as much interest as I was. But thinking about it, I can't blame him.

My b.f. told me that I had to lay off, play it cool. That's exactly what I did. Text, calls, emails - now don't even laugh or anything (emails were forward messages) - I just didn't forward emails to him, so yeah that's what I did.
I absolutely love my b.f. for that simple piece of info cos after I did that the guy started calling me, texting me, he even asked 'have I offended you in any way?' LOL.
The tables had turned, but by that time I was over him - you know how I am. Shame!

- Gabrielle

The TooFly Review

2006-07-19T14:33:00.000Z

Im so glad Sunshine Anderson is back, "Heard It All Before" is definately on the soundtrack to my life! This is a big tune and a much needed anthem for the ladies...shout out to Kevin for the track. Enjoy!

Something I Want To Give You - Sunshine Anderson

- Ms TooFly

Its Deja Vu

2006-07-13T00:47:00.000Z

Hey People! Beyonce's next single is "Deja Vu" and the video is going to be exclusively shown on Channel 4 @ 9.00 / 10.00 pm on Friday. But i've managed to get the video here first because im fly like that...hence the name!
I think its alright...not amazing, but i know some of you will disagree. Anyway remember where you saw it first and leave a comment!!

- Ms TooFly

Lend Me Your Ears!

2006-07-11T23:05:00.000Z

picture courtesy of Funky Media...thanks!

You may recognise these girls from a video we had on the site a while ago featuring Sean Paul from the YoungBloodZ called "Do it to it". Cherish are a group of sisters Farrah, Neosha and twins Felicia and Fallon they've been around for a while working with Jermaine Dupri. I've heard 3 or 4 songs that i thought were cool, but im not sure if they have that "staying power" to be the next big girl group. Mainly because their sound is so typical of what is happening right now and i dont really see any originality. But whatever, they might come with something that will blow me away...im just not seeing it yet. Anyway check it for yourself...

"Unappreciated"
"Show and Tell"

So the NinaSky girls are back with a second album...cant say i missed them. Sorry but they didnt really do anything for me. This song explains my feelings towards them, i mean they always seem to jump on the bandwagon of what is selling big at that particular time. What happened to being different, fresh and funky???
...because i know a few of you like them i put their new track up featuring Rick Ross. I am too nice!

"Flippin' That"

Missez is another new girl group comprised of 3 members Tomi, Keysha and Rashe'. They're getting heavy rotation in the US with the track "Love Song" featuring Pimp C...nice track but i could of done without hearing Pimp C. They claim to be what music is missing, check out their possible next release "Girl To Get" and make your own descison.

"Girl To Get"

She was featured in Lil Flip's Summer anthem "Sunshine". Well, the girl is now working on her debut album and is signed to Blackground Records (Jojo, Toni Braxton...). Im happy that shes making moves to be more than just a featured artist, shes got a good production team behind her and should do really well.

"I Give U My Heart"
"I'm Gone"
"Read My Mind"
"U Can't Handle This"

Bonus Tracks:

Marques Houston...is gonna release a third album later this year, this could be the first single off it.

"Like This" Featuring Yung Joc

Janet Jackson is 20 years old again!....im really lookin forward to her new album. Her comeback is gonna be huge!

"Call On Me" Featuring Nelly

The Clipse are back, you've seen the video on our playlist...enjoy!

"Mr Me Too", The Clipse

Remember Zena? she was in Mis-Teeq when they first came out and left the group before they scored their first hit...Yes? well she decided she wanted to go solo, and teamed with producers RedZone and Full Crew (among others) and made an album...yeah it was news to me too. This was because it was only on Japanese release (pissed). Well 1, 2 step Ciara co-wrote track 3 and 5, and even did background vocals on 3. But ill talk about that more in my next post and if your nice to me i might even post the album.

Peace

- Ms TooFly

Fly Video!!

2006-07-11T15:44:00.000Z

Ms Dynamite has returned with a reggae influenced tune, "When I Fall in Love"....i miss her as a emcee, but it seems the singing thing is working for her. Not really a fan of her singing voice but shes still fly and so is this video.
Enjoy!

- Ms TooFly

Brand New Outkast...

2006-07-10T20:56:00.000Z

Hey People! Hot, new Outkast tracks for ya...its coming out on the soundtrack for their new film "Idlewild" (click to watch the trailer). It looks really good but you know it'll take forever to come over here! I've had the songs for a while..but for some reason i only got time to post it now. My personal favourite is Big Boi's "Morris Brown"
But im still loving Andre with "Idelwild Blues"

P.S. If you want you think your music is fly enough to be on this site or the soon coming.."TooFly Experience". Send us an email by going on our profile.
Peace

- Ms TooFly

The TooFly Review

2006-07-09T01:00:00.000Z

Do you now who Keri Hilson is?...err nah? You might not recognise her name but you've definately heard her music. Shes written for the likes of Mary J Blige, Ciara, Usher, Pussycat Dolls, Avant, Kelly Rowland, Justin Timberlake the list goes on. You might remember her featuring on Xzibit's "Hey Now (Mean Muggin')", she also had a cameo appearance on Nelly Futardo's hot track "Promiscuous Girl". Shes signed to Timbaland's label Mosley Music Group which is in association with Interscope Records. From what i'be heard so far i think shes gonna have a really fly album. This particular track is a slow tempo one but im feeling her style & looking forward to hearing more from her.

"Come Clean" - Keri Hilson

So its been nearly four years since the release of his debut solo album, "Justified", now he is back with a new album with production from hot producers Rick Rubin, Will.I.Am and Timberland entitled..."FutureSex/LoveSounds",
The first single is called "Sexy Back"
It's got a very sexy, electronic, and retro sort of feel. It's also a bit left-field for what's topping the charts these days, im pretty sure that there's gonna be alot of hype over the release of this album.
Anyway I hear that he has filmed the video to this track in Barcelona....as soon as its out you know it'll be on this site!

"Sexy Back" - Justin Timberlake

I've been waiting forever (ok...2 Looong years!) for the follow up to Lyfe Jennings debut album "Lyfe 268-192," that album was on heavy rotation for a good 6 months! Well im pleased to say that August 15th is the release date for his sophomore album, "The Phoenix." The album includes a new version of Tupac's anthem "Keep Ya Head Up" and the first single release will be "S.E.X.". Im happy about this because i love this track. The lyrically content has a really important message for young girls and women in general.

"I've wanted to write this song for a long time," Jennings previously told Billboard.com of the track. "[It's about girls] being confused by all the sudden attention when they start developing physically but not mentally."

"S.E.X." - Lyfe

Bonus Tracks:

- Amerie
"Some Like It"

- Pharoache Monach
"We Must Be In Love"
"Lets Go"

The tracks are only up for a limited time

- Ms TooFly

"Breaking Up Is Hard To Do"....Maybe Not

2006-07-04T16:06:00.000Z

Hey people!!...have you ever gone through a break up and needed music that completely expressed your situation and feelings?...
Well a friend of mine did and to help him feel better we both created a list for the top break up songs ever made. You can download a few of the tracks...just click on the title.

"How I Feel",Brandy -Aphrodisiac
Is he or she not as attentive as they used to be. They stopped returning phone calls, stopped spending that quality time that’s necessary for a relationship to work. Well seems like you may be headed for a break up.

“You Used To Be So Attentive
Call Me At Least Twice A Day
But Now I Have No Support, No Incentive
To Keep Me Lovin You This Way”

"Emotional Rollercoaster" , Vivian Green
Its up its down, basically you never really know where you are with that special one. But you do know that your not happy...Vivica Knows too.

"Yesterday I told myself I was gonna be ok.
Gonna start a new day be truely happy
I was gonna take control of me
but eventually reality hit me
mentally, physically, emotionally
and I opened my eyes and realised
That I was still be taken for constant ride"

"Pleasure and Pain", 112 -112
Is your loved one different? Are there more bad times than good ones?...

“Why do you make me feel this way
Feeling betrayed, feeling pushed away
Why do you make me feel so bad
Feeling so hurt, feeling so sad
What have I done to make you turn
I'm feeling so lost, I'm feeling so burned
If you really cared you'd make a change
So I could feel the pleasure and not the pain”

"Busted", Isley Brothers - Body Kiss
Its like an episode of that dodgy US show "Cheaters" and you've been caught with your pants down...lol. Or you know that they're lying because nothing they say makes any sense.

"Now earlier (hmmm) you said dancing (uhhh)
But when I just asked (hmmm) you said shopping (uhhh)
Tell me which one you were doing
(Oh baby I must be confused)
Yeah right you real confused"

"Seperated", Usher
It’s just not working out no matter what you do. You’ve come to the understanding that you’ll never get it together and you realise that you’re better off apart.

“ Why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life
And I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well
And I'll be fine
Cuz we're better off...separated”

"Love’s a Game" , Marques Houston - MH
Is love a game that you just can’t seem to win.

“loves a game
I played and lost
should have learned my lesson yesterday
when yesterday was far away
and loves a game
I payed the cost
should have learned my lesson yesterday
but yesterday was so so far away”

"Stay or Leave" , Dave Matthews Band
It’s over. . .you don’t want it to be. . .but it is. That special Person is leaving and you know that you shouldn’t stop them because your time together has finally ended. This song speaks to a “good” breakup (if there is such a thing) Here’s a little insight. . .

“Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you should
It was good,
as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you did”

"Through With You", Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane
Have you lost the trust in your relationship? Do you not believe the sweet words of love your he /she says? Are you just TIRED of having to deal with it?

“Cause saying I love you
Has nothing to do with meaning it
And I don't trust you
Cause every time you're here
Your intentions are unclear
I spend every hour
waiting for a phone call
That I know will never come
I used to think you were the one
Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all”

"Try It On My Own", Whitney Houston
Are you tired of depending on the same dead-end relationship? Has that relationship made you into someone you’re not? Are you ready to move forward and not look back.

“It's over now
I can't go back to living through your eyes
Too many lies
And if you don’t know by now
I can’t go back to being someone else
not anymore
I never had the chance to do things my way
So now it's time for me to take control”

"Can’t Make You Love Me", This song has several artists that sing it . . .I prefer the Prince and Will Downing version. . .but if you’re into country music Bonnie Raitt also has a version
Have you tried everything? You’ve used all your resources yet you feel the person you love isn’t affected?

“I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me"
if you don’t”

"I Wish I Wasn’t", Heather Headley
Ladies is he hanging out more and taking care of home less? Do you want to leave but you’re torn because you just love the man so much? Heather Headley has been there too...

”when you touch me my heart melts
And everything you did wrong I forget
So you play me and take advantage
Of the love that I feel for you
Why you wanna hurt me so bad
I believed in you that’ why I’m so mad
Now I’m drowning in disappointment,
and it’s hard for me to even look at you”

"If", Destiny’s Child
Are you fed up and refuse to take it anymore? Fed up with all the drama that’s been going on in your current relationship? Do you want to tell that person that they’re going to miss you when you’re gone.

“If you don’t know
Now you know you’re gonna miss (my love)
And I ain’t stressing bout a dog gone thing
Cuz I was true when I gave you (my love)
My love.
If you search you will never find another love like (my love)
You’re gonna miss me.
I ain’t got time while you sit around and play with my (my love)
My love.”

"Maybe Just Maybe", Lemar - Time To Grow
This break up might be a mistake...if you try you just might work it out. No, you made the right decision...right??

"Maybe this was meant to be
Maybe we should try and see
Maybe just maybe it's as far as we should go
Maybe it's a big mistake
Maybe we should walk away
Maybe just maybe we'll never know"

"Ain’t Gonna Beg You", Fantasia
Your always having to work the hardest to make it work...constantly being tested and having to prove yourself.

“Every time I need someone to be there when I had me one of them crazy days
(I aint gon beg you)
Everytime I want someone to treat me like they always said they were gonna treat me like
(I aint gon beg you)
cause I let you slide before
but I see you aint gon learn
since you like to play with fire
then I'ma let us burn
boy you (aint nothin)
gon miss (my lovin)
the last time was the last time
so I'm through with you”

"I Miss You", Boys II Men
You refuse to believe that your love can just end and you still think they're coming back...

"Is it turning over this time
Have we really changed our minds about each other's love
All the feelings that we used to share
I refuse to believe
That you don't care"

"Someone", JS
STILL in a dead end relationship. . . but you’re seeing someone else who treats you like a queen or a king?

“Now baby, you used to introduce me
To the finer thangs
The passion that we shared was
Straight off the chain
Thought I would never feel that way again
Convinced myself I was to blame
(He) touches me like you used to do
(And he) loves me like you used to do
(Baby) he wants to replace you
And I gotta do what I gotta do
I'm sorry”

"I Hate U",, Prince - The Gold Experience
You have a love/hate relationship with the man or woman in your life. They do things to you but you constantly forgive. You love them dearly but you HATE the things they do.

“Did U do 2 your other men
The same things that U did 2 me?
Right now I hate U so much
I wanna make love
until U see
That it's killin' me baby
2 be without U
Cuz all I ever wanted 2 do
was 2 be with U
I hate U
because I love U
But I can't love U
because I hate U...”

"Liar Liar", Latocha Scott - Best Man Soundtrack
He said he’d always be true. . . but guess what he lied. Are you going crazy because your "man" cheated? Latocha Scott knows your pain. . .

"Listen to the sound of me breaking down, down, down
Can't you hear me losing my mind?
Everything that's everything is nothing
And I can't tell your truth from your lies
This is the sound of me breaking down, down, down
Over and over again in my head
You're a liar, a liar, a liar"

"Ex Factor", Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
Sometimes it's just TOO hard to let it go. You find yourself in major conflict. . . heart saying one thing, mind saying another. We've all been there...

"It could all be so simple
But you'd rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will"

"Anything But Down", Sheryl Crow
You love them however your relationship is unhealthy, you never get a lift from being around him or her.

"You are a raging sea
I pull myself out everyday
I plea insanity
Cause I can't leave
but I can't stay
You say, won't you come find me
and yes is what I say
You don't bring me anything but down
You don't bring me anything but down
Everything is crashing to the ground"

More Break-up Songs

Almost Doesn’t Count- Brandy
Doin Just Fine- Boyz II Men
End of the Road- Boyz II Men
Give Me One Reason- Tracy Chapman
Hit The Road Jack- Ray Charles
I Can’t Sleep- R Kelly
Love Takes Time- Mariah Carey
Everybody Hurts- REM
When It’s Over- Sugar Ray
Me Myself and I- Beyonce
After The Love Has Gone- Earth Wind and Fire
Used To Be My Girl- Ojays
Aint No Sunshine- Bill Withers
Yester-me Yester-you Yesterday- Stevie Wonder
Charlene -Anthony Hamilton

This is only a few songs that we came up with, add any songs that you think should be included.

Enjoy!
P.S. Sound Files only stay up for 7 days
- SistaLova

Feelings of my Past

2006-07-03T22:28:00.000Z

I always feel like I make you unhappy
Like I'm not fully pleasing you
Its upsetting 'cos I really want to
But I don't know whether I'm capable
of looking after and pleasing you in
the way you desire.

There's always something I'm doing wrong
There's always something I'm being corrected on
I feel like you're expecting me to be
Someone I'm not
Someone I haven't developed into yet
I feel so much pressure on me
And its suffocating
I can't stand not getting things right
And it seems like I'm always getting
it wrong.
Forever being corrected
Forever being judged for what I'm not doing
By you and your close friends.

I feel like I'm being subjected
to this because....
Because I don't know
But it's like I thought I was doing good
And I actually think I did more harm.

In all honesty I think your friends can
look after you far better than I can.
Its evident in the way you talk about them
and the way they look after you.
My name is GABRIELLE... soon to be 20
and truly I think you expect much more of me
then what I actually am
or what I can actually do for you.

Overall I feel like I'm far from
pleasing you,
upsetting you rather.
And that upsets me.
And I don't know whether I
Can carry on feeling like I
have no purpose or no
significance.

You have everything you need
Friends, really good friends who
Love you
And I can't measure up.
I don't think I measure up
I'm trying so hard, I AM.
Its just so hard for me to
show affection through my actions.
And I don't want you to feel like
I'm a burden anymore
I want you to be happy.
Thats my heart desire, for you to be happy.
And I don't think I'm doing that
I don't think I can make you happy.
Maybe I still have some growing to do.
I dont know what it is,
I just want you to be happy.

I wrote this to my ex, never showed it to him though, found it whilst cleaning out my room. Made me sit down and reminisce, brought back memories of exactly what I was going through, exactly what I was feeling... just took me back to a 'Gabrielle' I no longer want to know, took me back to a 'Gabrielle' I buried a while ago. Just thought to share... you know how I do.

- Gabrielle x

Presenting the Toofly Experience......

2006-06-27T01:24:00.000Z

Hey people, as you know over the past 3 or 4 months a few changes have happened on this site e.g. adding the music videos...basically changing the whole layout.
Well being the fly group of divas that we are. A few members of the team have come together to create an additional blog that focuses on Music and fashion. The site is still under construction, but we will be doing a few music and fashion reviews in the upcoming weeks on this site.

So if you have any music that you wanna promote or have a good eye for fashion, just go on our profile and send us an email.
Peace

*If you are having problems sending us certain music files, send it to us @ www.myspace.com/mstoofly*

- AfroDivas

Just thinking...

2006-06-23T20:54:00.000Z

So I've had a lot of time to think, a lot of time to reminisce and look back on the way I've grown, mistakes I've made etc. Having recently just opened my eyes, no longer walking around with my eyes wide shut.

This growth, sudden sense of maturity came about whilst reading an urban novel. The actual novel didn't catch my eye or make me sit up and pay attention. Its lack of creativity and constant stereotypes is exactly what urged me to mature.
The book was filled with immature connotations of success and a limited view on what people in the 'ghetto' see as success. Drugs, guns, sex etc and yes its common but its not the be all and end all.
So anyway, this book did put across a few good points which did make me look deeper into my perception of things. Sit still for like 5-10 minutes and see where your mind takes you. I did that exercise and found myself thinking about friends, family, money and soulmates. In just those 10 minutes I was thinking about nearly everything under the sun.

FRIENDS - I actually only have a few. Gabrielle has only ever known numbers. The more friends, the better but out of those people not even half of them would have my back like I have theirs. Sad init, but its reality. How many of us are stuck in dead end friendships?

FAMILY - Outside of my immediate family, I don't have any. I have like 3 cousins that I see regularly but other aunts, uncles and cousins are disregarded. My dad was one child out of 8, and yet I haven't seen my cousins since I was 12 (nearly 8 yrs ago). People move on, so have I.

MONEY - As you know money is the root of all evil, but without it, what can you achieve? I mean the reason why we're going through the education system is to make sure we live comfortably in the future. How would that be possible without money? Obviously I know that God can make anything happen but all these things I'm mentioning are things I thought about in 10 mins.

SOULMATES - Constantly reminded that it doesn't matter how long a couple are together, if you're not meant to be together... you won't

Just thinking...

- Gabrielle

So Have You Ever??

2006-06-15T23:33:00.000Z

Have you ever been in love?
I mean............. LOVE, love?
Not no little year 7 crush, hidin' your face so
SHE
dont see you blush type of love.
I'm talkin' bout LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVE
the type to knock you out cold in broad daylight
the type that sometimes makes you want to FIGHT
cause the bite can get too bitter
making you litter your thoughts with crap you NEVER EVER would have
bought if it was being sold.
bold love, leaving you naked, wishing your mind can FAKE IT
cause in the end you know your little old heart won't be able to TAKE IT
type of love....
Well,
This girl...this woman....chick, whateva you wanna call her
Anyway,
this......woman, this...stupid girl had me.
I mean,
this girl...I loved her like I love music,
loved her like I love breathin',
like I love breakfast.
Like breakfast, man!! Fucking eatin'!!!
and, as sure as my heart was beatin'.......it felt, right.
I'd close my eyes and still see bright lights,
No lie. When thinking of us, I'd picture grandkids.
yes....Grandkids!!
In my mind, we were like twin trains on the same track, heading towards
each other at tremendous speed, destined for collison.
I envisioned a crash.
A crash with a blast intense enough to split the fuckin' sun in half.
Sparks would fly, and we would lie in the aftermath,
her I and she me, we'd...........damn. We'd be.........happy.

But,
the tracks.....somehow they didn't connect
Maybe my wiring was faulty,
But, I gave my all, you can't fault me,
if not me.......... then where should fault be???

Then I thought,
Love probably played a trick
Wanted to see what good old BruthaDiva would do when things got thick.
And....honestly, I PANICKED
My thoughts, my actions, MANIC.
I didnt know what to do,
and at night, her shadow GREW. Taunting me with mirages, massauges,
and the PAIN.......actually I don't really wanna talk about the pain.

This stupid chick, though.
I....I really, honestly still think that we could....
Actually, it's not even could, it's kind of more like should....
This love shit, man, it's funny.
Its like a fuckin' disease, one that stays forever...without a cure

Am I bitter? Yes and No.
I mean, I still love her flow
but......I don't know where to go from here.
It aint like breakfast no more, but with time it could be,
and again, it...it really seems like it almost SHOULD be.

Damn.......Love is love, for real. It aint nothing else.
I'm a ask ya'll again, and be real this time........

Have you ever been in love?

- BruthaDiva

I'm Back!

2006-06-06T23:30:00.000Z

WOW! I never realised actually how dependant I am on my laptop, those few weeks felt like a lifetime. Thank God exams are over, now the fun can begin.

1st > That guy didn't call me. In fact I didn't hear a word from him at all, a day before the date, on the date and after. The cheek! I already told you guys I wasn't as excited as I wanted to be so honestly it didn't shock me. It just baffled me I guess. I mean why would this guy volunteer up a day for us to go out but then not call. But hey whatever, old news. He called me like a week or two after, oh yeah, I do believe I let that phone ring. NEXT !!

2nd > Been talking to this guy I met in a bar, handsome and everything but I'm just not feeling him like that, I mean its like talking to my friend who lives down the road from me, all just general conversation. I'm just not connected to him. But maybe I'm not concerned about him 'cos he looks like a cross between my ex and some other guy I knew in college. Basically they all just kinda look alike. Puts me off in a way. BUT ANYWHOOOO....

3rd > Im FINALLY getting back into sync with my world. You ever feel ugly, fat, too skinny, unpopular, well that was me for the past two weeks. Just not feeling happy about myself at all and that's not me. I mean I'm not the prettiest (model type), I'm not the richest (even though I claim that for my future) and on a positive note Mother Africa has generously endowed me with a boo-tay that doesn't suit my slender figure so you'd expect a girl like me to feel content. But that wasn't the case, there was no real reason for me to be in a funk like that. But hey it's all good. I'm back in sync. I don't know why I felt like that, I'm just happy I'm back to normal now. Well, not so 'normal' but you know what I mean.

As for me and my quests, boi.... we'll just see where life takes me. I'm gonna be in LEEDS for a while, let's see what happens......

BruthaDiva Sessions...

2006-05-31T07:21:00.000Z

We've all been there. You're out, and you see somebody who catches your eye for whatever reason. Maybe its their eyes. Or maybe it's their hair. Or maybe they just have that "thing" that Lauryn Hill was talking about that.

Whatever it is, you become helpless to your impulses and your forced to just go over and speak. Everything is going well. Your "hello" was well received and a purposeful conversation was begun.

And then...

...that idiot says the dumbest thing you've ever heard in your life. Yes, in just a few short minutes, it is possible to meet somebody who goes from being hot to trot, to well...not.
Im sure its happening right now as you read this.

And yes, it can happen to you. So being the fly butha i am, I feel the best way to prevent this problem is to offer a few situations that can make you less than hot to the opposite sex in 10 minutes or less.

1. Come off like you are a egotistical little shit.

Have you ever meet somebody and they made it seem like you were lucky to even get the opportunity to do so? (I know alot of you are nodding your heads). I know a woman who assumes that anytime a man speaks to her, he is trying to spit lyrics. ANYTIME. What I find funny about it is that she's not attractive...in the first place. So she will blast nearly any man who even offers her so much as a compliment and assume that he is just spitting more lyrics than Twista.

Word to the wise, self-esteem is really important. What's also important is realizing that if you have an 8 body and a 5 face, you are a 6.

2. Have breath that is Hotter than a summer in West Africa

Yes, halitosis is a real thing. I'm not even sure there needs to be an explanation here. Let's just say, if nobody wants to talk to you and you look like Halle Berry, either you have a sign on your forehad that says "SARS lives here" or you're breath is beyond reproach.

3. Just being plain...dumb.

I don't know about you, but I HATE dumb chicks. With the passion of Mel Gibson. I know some people who like dumb chicks because they are easy but that to me its the ultimate turnoff. If I see a fine woman who gets so excited because she just discovered that there are pens that if you push the button, the ball point comes out...well, she will become very unattractive quickly to me. Dumb girls cannot be fine. It is mentally impossible for me to find dumb women attractive. I would assume that women would feel the same about men.

4. The Standards

What are the standards? You know, blatant things like picking your nose, farting, or any of the other bodily functions one should reserve for private time. I know a chick who will burp, and then tell you about it. Needless to say, not very attractive.

5. Being clumsy

You know, nothing is worse than being the embodiment of this statement: oh, he's fine, but...
Or. Bruv, she's fine but...

Anytime you have a but... attached, you just aren't ranking high enough. And just being really clumsy from jump will do it unfortunately. If you spill my drink on me I'm going to not only wonder how in the hell you made that happen seeing as it was my drink, but i'm gonna be pissed. It's hard to see attractiveness when pissedness (i know its not a real word) comes into force.

Unless you're just that fine where it doesn't matter. Which is possible. Trust me.

6. Wear more makeup than that clown from the simpsons.

Maybe this is just a personal thing. I don't mind makeup. But I do mind additional faces created by too much makeup. And maybe I couldn't tell that from afar. Upon closer inspection, you can become very unattractive if I'm not sure if your face really belongs to you or not. Nothing is scarier than possibly waking up next to a Gremlin.

7. Have the ugliest walk known to man.

This an entire other post, but an ugly walk, will totally fuck up your attractiveness. If you walk like you never quite learned how to do it, well, you're gonna be busted. Like I said, that's another post.

These are but a few ways to become unfly in 10 minutes or less. Don't let it be you.

Unless of course you're already busted in which case, it doesn't matter and you can proceed as normal.

- BruthaDiva

I Saw This And Thought Of You...

2006-05-30T17:24:00.000Z

I know we havent posted in a while...truth is there aint been anything important to mention. But a friend sent me this and you lot know how i like to share!!

- SistaLova

We Do Exist!!

2006-05-22T13:05:00.000Z

I've been sitting on this one for a while, looking for the ideal time to post it. Not to say its the right time now but i know some of you have been missing me. Unfortunately, I can't take credit for it, it was e-mailed to me at a time when I needed to read it.
It's an open letter addressed to women letting them know that there are good black men out there. I'd like to think that I am a good black man and hope someone out there will co-sign that for me. All the media shows is the drug dealers/users and the men that degrade women. The only black men you see on the news, or in the papers are the murderers, convicts, rapist or the athletes on the back page. It's is rare that you see a positive image of a black man on television. I for one think that everyone needs to stop glorifying the bad and start uplifting the good. Then again, I am just one man. I hope this post reminds you of at least one person in your life, and if it does, feel free to tell us about him so everyone can know that we do exist!

Everyone receiving this either:

1. Is a good black man

2. Has a good black man

3. Will be blessed with a good black man soon

4. Has met a Good Black Man; but failed to recognise him.

Good Black Men are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the shops and the halls at work. Most we can't see because we don't know what a good man really looks like. He usually isn't flashy enough, or rich enough to turn our heads. He might not wear a suit or push a Lexus. He might not have "a body like Tyson with a Denzel face". But, as you mature; you realize it's better to find someone who's got your back rather than someone who turns your head.

A good man doesn't agree wholeheartedly with everything you say. He doesn't just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite. He doesn't declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, blah, blah he is (He won't have to because it shows). He has his own opinions and yours may clash, but he doesn't have to degrade you to prove he's right. He even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.

A good man is not going to meet every item on your checklist. He is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of his wonderful, strong attributes. He needs your love and respect.
~~~~~~~~~~He needs to feel that you don't live to catch him doing something wrong so you can declare, Aha! I knew you were a dog!!

A good man isn't insecure about his women having great achievements. In fact he is her number one supporter and becomes disappointed with her when she begins to lose herself, for the sake of not hurting his feelings, or just want to make him happy. His happiness comes with seeing her excel in her dreams and accomplishing her goals. For as she excels and is exalted, a good woman will bring her good man right along with her. A good man doesn't necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine's gift. He shows his love in the ways that are comfortable to him.

Don't judge him by TV standards. No one is really living a fairy-tale. You'll miss out on your own fairy tale by buying into the myth that our men are no good. It's Just not true. Black Men, we salute you, and thank you for who you are and all you've done.

- BruthaDiva

The Latest

2006-05-10T21:29:00.000Z

Even though my name is 'crush hoe', I've only REALLY liked a few guys in my lifetime. SCOUT'S HONOUR! (even though I was never a scout).

So now - this guy I'm talking to, rightly named 'my first love' is my mind's focus at this moment in time. I can't believe that I still like him after so long, I mean I had a little crush on him when I was younger but as I said 'it was a crush', I would've expected to get over it by now - but I still like him.

The story is that I hadn't seen him in YEARS but it was only recently that we got back in contact with each other. So we talked on the phone for a few months and arranged a few dates but every single one fell through, (both our faults really). Now, I'm supposed to meet him and all I can say is 'WHATEVER'

I KNOW!!! After all that and I don't even care anymore, I really can't be bothered. It kinda gets to me that I'm not excited but then again I think I have reason not to be. Failed dates, when we talk there isn't much conversation, the fact that I still haven't seen him, I don't think you can blame me for not being excited. And despite all that I've said, I know exactly why I don't want to be excited - I might meet him and find out that I actually don't like him. That would crush me, it really would. Imagine me, liking him all this time, secretly hoping that he might be the ONE, only to find out that 'WE' could never happen. It would crush me.... and my mum. LOL. My mum absolutely adores him, come to think of it - so does my DAD. But I won't know anything 'til the end of this week - and I'm apprehensive. Apprehensive because next week could be the start of a new sector in my life. I might no longer be a 'crush hoe' - Gabrielle might actually settle down.

'YEAH RIGHT', I hear you say, but it could happen. NEVER SAY NEVER.

Oh yeah - what do I wear? I want to look nice but don't want to come off as desperate. Oh my!! Gabrielle actually cares what people think this time ( I must really like him). I want him to at least see an improvement in me since the last time he saw me - party dress and hairband to match. MEMORIES!!!

- Gabrielle

P.P.S my laptops gone until after exams so I might not be posting until I get some other computer access so if I don't write for a while, you know why!! KISSES x x x

Kick 'Mr Potential' to the curb...Apparently

2006-05-06T21:29:00.000Z

For some reason I seem to have a lot of time on my hands, cause every time I post, I've either watched or read something that I have to share and guess what...Today is no exception! The title just struck me so I had to read it,
KICK MR POTENTIAL TO THE CURB! (I couldn't believe it...When u finally find 'Mr right' whoever he may be, why would you want to let go?)

Yes, that sounds harsh, But this is the man you like and could learn to love. This is a guy who has drama. He is a walking headache. This guy is the one you run from like the wind. Life wont get any better with this guy. The only person that can help him is himself! Mr Potential has to create his own life. You cant try to make it for him. He has to get past the potential and learn to be a man for himself, by himself
You then think to yourself "do I want to be happy or do I want to survive?" Life is more then survival. Go for the happiness and kick Mr. Potential with no ambition to the curb.

So im sitting there thinking OH, the distinction has to be made between Mr Potential and Mr Right. Mr Potential has the qualities to become Mr Right but is not quite there...hmmm so im reminiscing about my past relations and conclude that I seem to be confusing Mr Right (a.k.a the guy I've never met)with actual Mr Potential's ( a.k.a my ex-boyfriend)? That could explain my single status now (which I have no problem with...sometimes) but then again, how do you differentiate the two when the characteristics seem so similar? Am I confusing u? Because I sure am confused! Is it really possible to kick 'Mr Potential' to the curb, cant I just train him to being a Mr Superb?....Nah, these books on life lessons can only be taken so far, look at me trying to re-evaluate future relationships, let me just leave it up to whatever God has planned.

x_soul sista_x

Why AfroDivas was created?

2006-05-03T13:45:00.000Z

AfroDivas was created so that we could voice our opinions, our thoughts, random feelings we had which we wanted to share with others. In creating such a blog, we decided that we would allow readers to post comments and voice their own opinion on whatever we had said. So you could say we gave readers the chance to say their piece. Compared to some blogs I've come across, we just don't leave comments that portray our blogs to be perfect, cos it's far from that... I mean we're only writing about how we feel. You can't blame us for that.

So, with saying that Im gonna wrap this up. To the faithful readers, thanks for reading, thanks for visiting the site. We greatly appreciated the fact that you continued to read our blogs. But we are sorry to say that AfroDivas has now ended. Due to numerous comments prior to the last blog, we have all concluded to stop writing. Again, we would like to thank you for your support and your insightful comments.

God Bless x x x

OH PUURRLLEASSEEEEE!! No one could get rid of this blog even if they tried. Basically, it's like this... you like the site, by all means stop by when it suits you, read our posts, leave a comment if needs be, but please, PLEASE don't be ignorant. I mean if you don't agree with what has been said in a post please don't be immature about it and leave a wack ass comment, 'anonymous' - 'this is some weak blog'. NO!! You know what you should do, leave a comment telling us why you don't agree with what was said and what you would do in that situation. It's called 'constructive criticism'... then again, if you still don't agree with what's said on a post... leave the site. I know you see that red 'X' button on the top right corner... I aint gonna be mad at you for using it. DAMMMNNNN!!! So yeah, we're gonna keep the posts coming and hopefully you guys won't stop reading.

AU REVOIR

- Gabrielle

Looks sooo fine....err...nah!

2006-05-02T00:10:00.000Z

Have you every looked back at people you had crushes on and thought
....what was i thinking? or ....what happened?
Because thats what happened to me yesterday when i bumped into this boy i had a BIG thing for. I remember when he was the cutest guy in my class...sort of like a young Will Smith (he had those cute ears too!) lol. But i guess time was not kind to him, let me give you a description...his face had aged considerably i almost didnt recognise him! his head was a sideways oval shape and his torso was half the size it should be, also sideways oval shaped. *sigh* I swear I nearly jumped back, and before you guys get all judgemental on me, never did I claim to be a beauty queen...but I'm HONEST people!

I also remember he was one of the smartest and most athletic people in my class, i always thought of him as being really sucessful one day. So while we were talking i asked him all the typical questions, what he was doing now? etc.. Basically he is now a father of two with the third on the way and he used to work at a corner shop, but was now in the process of choosing a new career path (unemployed).

Maybe he was never really that cute, i mean this was a crush back in primary school!! I have always been a fan of dark chocolate skinned bruthas and i went to a school that was 98.5% white. So the lack of chocolate made me find anything attractive, lol.

Its another story of a really smart black man who isnt reaching his full potential, a shame really 'cos he had the abitlity to do anything.
I guess it was naive of me to think everyone that i knew would be happy and successful.

- SistaLova

Seven Deadly Sins Of Sisterhood

2006-04-30T20:07:00.000Z

Hmm, in light of recent 'comments' i thought i might bring this topic to the surface. I was watchin the Tyra show awhile back, and she came up with this concept, i was very intrigued.
1. Envy
2. Judgement
3. Resentment
4. Manipulation
5. Betrayal
6. Competition
7. Gossip
Now, after she had identified all the deadly sins of sisterhood, i could not help but think at least 5 of those 7 applied to me. I can remember occasions, a couple years back where i have envied, been judgemental and gossiped like there was no tomorrow! But now i ask myself what did i possibly achieve by being like that? I lost a couple of true sisters, partied more and lost faith. After a much deserved break, i took the time to re-evaluate past experiences in my life and what stood out the most is that ive nearly lost true sistas over guys. (KMT) So, i'll make this short and sweet and ask...
Which sin have you been guilty of committing, or a victim of?

and leave you with the words of tyra
'Stop negativity and competition and support one another.'

x-soul sista-x

Week 2

2006-04-25T10:54:00.000Z

Lesson 2: Leave playing mind games to children. It doesn't work on girls... or guys for that matter. I would really like to know where 'mind games' started from (I mean between the opposite sex) 'cos it causes so many problems that could have been avoided. So yeah, if you like a guy, just tell him you like him, what's the worst that could happen? lol, lol. OK many things could happen but not enough to make you feel like doo-doo for the rest of your life. LIFE GOES ON!! And same applies to the guys, if you like a girl, just tell her, there's nothing worse than you dropping hints for months only to see the girl you really like, go out with another guy. so take what I have said and let it marinate/marinade (didn't know which word was correct in this context) in your head. Whilst I tell you what happened to me in Week 2. ENJOY!!!

Still in London, catching up with friends, life was good during this week, I felt so popular. People had ‘heard it through the grapevine’ that I was back on ends, so naturally I was getting called every minute being asked ‘what you on’ for the day… so I guess I could say I was out most of the time… enjoying myself. But one thing that I noticed which I only got to deal with directly was the fact that when I like someone, they NEVER show me that they like me back at that moment. I always feel like I’m the only one showing a certain interest… so before long I’m over them. You guys already know my nickname ‘crush hoe’, so the fact that I got over this guy wasn’t a problem. Now I liked this guy in college right to when I started uni but he wasn't showing me nothing back… so you know the routine... I forgot about him QUICKTIME. NOW, it wasn’t until I went back to London that week that I found out he had liked me all along. KMT why couldn’t he just tell me that he liked me… rather than playing stupid games. You see, I don’t understand ‘hints’ really I don’t… I usually don’t even know when a guy is ‘chirpsin’ me because I just usually think they’re being friendly. I think nothing of subtle talk, unless a guy comes up to me with the blatant lines ‘can I have your number’ and he hasn’t even asked my name that’s when I know he’s chirpsin me. So yeah, this guy tried to tell me how I never showed him love, and so he moved on… kmt. After I know I told him I liked him - Oh well!! That's life!! Next week... new story, new lesson.

CIAO

- Gabrielle

What clothes cant you stand on the opposite sex?

2006-04-22T15:13:00.000Z

Moving on from the 'Money and Love' issue, I was going through a magazine and i came across this topic, it had me stitches! One guy said (and i quote:)
'Dem short mini skirts wiv dem leggin things underneath..Mini Skirts are an access ting, so why wear it den put trousers underneath dat jus makes things complicated!'
I literally could not breathe, (there was more said about big panties and tracksuits but that was a bit 2 deep) i thought to myself, Is he serious? So i decided to think what clothes i cant bear to see on guys and i was thinking for about an hour! So where shall i begin...
First off the biggest issue i have is da trousers that HANG off a guys arse, 'Dont look den', i hear u say, Well, wen ur 5ft4 and a guys 6ft thats the first thing u see from behind and its so irratating, cuz no I DONT WANT TO SEE UR BART SIMPSON BOXERS! SO PULL IT UP AND LEAVE IT UP!
Staying on the trouser tip, why do these 'fresh off da boat guys' wear trousers 12 times to big? and come with these phony american accents wen they've only just left da shores of the motherland? You dont have to buy trousers to tight, but damn dont buy trousers that we can both fit into 2GETHA!
Issue 3 sandels and jogging bottoms-nuff said.
Issue 4 Colours, now i personally dont have a problem with guys wearing purple and pink shirts like Cam'ron however dont make it a habit of wearing these colours all da time, or else i'll be wondering..'Is he bi-curious?'
Issue 5 (i have a lot of issues, dont i? well they need to be addressed) this one will be the last, PLEASE DO NOT WEAR A WINTER WHOLLY HAT AND A NEW ERA CAP..TOGETHER!

x-soul sista-x

What Easter Candy Are You??

2006-04-16T06:30:00.000Z

Cadbury Creme Egg

You're the type that stole little brother's easter basket so that you could have MORE CANDY!

What Easter Candy Are You?

Have a fun and blessed Easter people!!

- AfroDivas

Can money buy you love?

2006-04-15T08:30:00.000Z

On a discussion i was having with a male compadrez of mine, the topic came up if money can buy you love. I said no but he said yes, so being very lady-like i told him to explain what he meant first.
'Girls love everything materialistic...' he said.(at this point, before the conversation developed i was thinking is this boy serious?)...'if a guy has a lot of money he can buy anything he wants for a girl...'
I said: 'the only exception is love'
He said 'No it isnt cause, you can buy anything for a girl and they would eventually fall in love with you.'
His point was not getting no-where of any real interest, so i decided to state my case, instead:
'Money can buy you many things, cars, jewellery, e.t.c however the one thing in the world it cant but you is love, because love is something you can not see and purchase, you feel it. It is indescribable and has no price tag because love is priceless. There is a difference between being in love with someone and having love for someone but i cant buy anything for someone, in the hope to make them fall in love with me, it just doesnt make any sense!.
He said: Money CAN buy you love, especially with a girl you want if she sees that your going to spend on her, like she deserves to be spent on she WILL love you.
I literaly could not believe what i was hearing, so before i argued even more, i decided to ask him: 'Has money bought you love?' He was quiet. I said 'i take that as a no then, so what experience are you talking from' Again he was quiet. So i decided to get other peoples opinion on the subject.
Accordinbg to one guy, money cant buy you love it can give you a boost, money can make you look good and to a girl that is important cause they wouldnt want no bum on the street, someone who looks fresh is important. Well i think he missed the point.
Another guy said girls love to be in control, they love power. Money equals power so therefore money can buy you love.
These wild generalisations made me feel that most guys catergorized girls as being all the same and money hungry, which i disagree so i open it up to you can money buy you love?

x-soul sista-x

2006-04-14T18:40:00.000Z

Remember X-Soul Sista-X.....well shes back from her looong hiatus *lol, and is no longer a "no strings girl" (thank the lord!!). Her outspoken and shocking posts will be on this site from now on....enjoy!

- AfroDivas

Back on the Scene..... continued

2006-04-13T10:53:00.000Z

I’ve been gone for a while… but I’m back… bout to jump off… lol… (moment of madness) but anyway, the past few weeks have been ‘interesting’ to say the least, taking that break was much needed and added to my life experience. You know there are times when you think you’ve lived life but in retrospect you haven’t. See, I thought I had seen everything I had needed to see… I thought that I had experienced everything I needed to experience… but that all changed these past few weeks. You learn something new everyday and that’s exactly what has happened concerning my life… I’ve learnt a lot. With age comes wisdom…lol… check me though, talking about ‘wisdom’ but things have changed now, and in the next few weeks I’ll be telling you exactly why some things have changed.

My 1st week of my much needed break

I decided to go back to London, just to go and see friends and family… basically I went home to chill out. And that’s when everything started…. I was walking to my front door… (I think I had just come back from my friend’s house), not blowing my own horn but Gabrielle was looking FLY… so anyway I’m about to put my key in the door when someone calls my name. I turn around to see my next door neighbour, he’s such a cutie but let me give you some background info on him.

Tall, brown skin, very cute, very smart, very funny…. So basically I think he’s a HUNNY!! One problem – he’s younger than me. DAMN!! I mean I have never, ever been approached by a guy on ‘road’… and NO I’m not ugly that’s not the reason why I don’t get approached, I was told that some guys may feel intimidated by me but that’s another story.

Back to the scene, he calls me from his balcony then we start talking and whatever, catching up on things…. Then he tells me he’s coming downstairs I should wait. So I do. And what happened next is what surprised me the most…. He came downstairs and we were talking again, then he says, ‘You’re so beautiful’…. Lol…. Now if you know me I don’t take people's compliments seriously. I mean for all I know they could be lying to me and where would that leave my self-esteem if the truth was unveiled. Besides, I’m a diva… I don’t need anyone to tell me what I know already…. OK!!!! Lol. So he says ‘you’re so beautiful’… and his movements start to slow down…. then, then he leans in for a kiss .... now I don’t know about you ladies but opportunities like that don’t come knocking everyday… so what did I do?? Oh yes I do believe I kissed him back……

…. OK…. Calm down, calm down. I was joking…. It didn’t turn out quite as I described it but hey… no harm in dreaming right? So lemme rewind and start again,

Guy next door: You’re so beautiful
Gabrielle: Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.
Guy next door: You know I’ve wanted to talk to you on a different level but as we went college together I knew you wouldn’t take me seriously so I decided to jam.

Now, there I am kinda dumbfounded… I mean this guy is a cutie and all those days we used to go to college together, all those times we used to mess about and stuff… he secretly liked me…. I would have never guessed.
He was right for not trying to approach me on a different level in college though because as some of you will know from your own experiences…. College is HYPE!! Everyone’s in your business, judging you, telling you what to do, or better yet telling their friends what they would have RATHER done if they were you.

Sad thing about ‘guy next door’ is he has so much potential… but Gabrielle is stuck in her own realm of insecurities and just won’t let it happen… shame huh? Age ain’t nothing but a number right…. yeah well tell that to my heart… ‘cos right about now it doesn’t even want to know.

Lesson 1: Something I remember Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives) saying in ‘Elle’ magazine, she said, any guy that approaches you or asks you out on a date, you should give him a chance (this does not apply to ‘uncles’) because you never know what you’re missing out on. I mean take ‘guy next door’ as an example… he could be what I’ve been looking for all this time but I’ve missed that chance… now I’ll never know whether he was the one for me.

- Gabrielle

Honestly Speaking....

2006-04-11T16:23:00.000Z

It’s a shame that we can’t be who we really are – all the time. Everyone wears a mask or a disguise of some kind, you almost have to. At work, you act a certain way, respond a certain way, talk a certain way; you have to project a work image – even if it’s totally not you. It’s all part of the job, no matter what you do for a living. Outside of work, when you’re with friends (for those who have friends), or when you’re just in a public place with other people, you act a different way. You’re a little more your real self, but you still have to wear a disguise.

There are rules. There are things you can’t say, shouldn’t say, shouldn’t do – no matter how right it feels. Feelings, feelings complicate everything. Most of the time you can get by, no matter what life decides to throw at you, but then those annoying feelings come marching in. They always arrive when you’re at your weakest or when you’re most distracted. It’s like they are always lurking, just waiting for a break in your defenses. There are good and bad feelings.
You would think that good feelings are always a good thing and bad feelings always bad, but this is not the case – especially when you’re feelings involve other people, and they almost always do.

There are times when good emotions have to be kept a secret because some people won’t understand and they will feel threatened and use your them against you. This is when good feelings can actually make you feel bad – because you can’t act on them or tell anyone about them. How many secrets can you keep before you go completely mad? In this world that's full of secrets how do people ever survive? How can we be prepared for anything when everything has to be such a secret? When you can’t admit your true feelings, are you lying? How can we be truthful about anything if we continue to lie about almost everything? Who is it we’re lying to – ourselves? If you truly dislike someone, but you’re nice to them and talk to them and maybe even do things with them, are lying to them? Your actions clearly say one thing, but on the inside, in that dark little place that only you know about, the truth lives.

Let’s say the opposite is true. You find yourself very attracted to someone, yet you distance yourself and maybe even avoid this person because showing any signs of affection toward this person is inappropriate for whatever reason. Yet if you disliked this person, it would be fine to have lunch, go for a walk in the park, engage in lengthy conversation – because – it’s all an act. You have no feelings for this person. It’s the guy down the street you really want to be with. All lies. If there is any hope in surviving in a world full of lies, we must tell the obvious truth, at least to certain people. The truth is that we don't have time to tell lies. We don't have time to stand still and weave these elaborate webs of deceit. We only have time to believe what is true. Believe that we will be okay. Believe that we will make it. To do otherwise is to live a constant lie and why even bother? What kind of life can be lived when you constantly have to watch your step, consider every word you say, control or deny your feelings so that no one will ever get a glimpse of what’s behind the mask.

How do you ever really know what’s true? How can you tell if someone really likes or dislikes you? How do you determine if someone feels the same way about you as you do about them when you can’t even tell that person how you really feel? In any relationship there are risks. If you do too much, you can scare the other person away. Do too little and they’ll think you’re not interested and go looking elsewhere. At what point do I remove the disguise, dig up your secret and tell someone your hearts desires? At what point can we all stop living a lie?

P.S. To the daily readers if this blog: excuse my randomness.....i just needed to vent!
To u kno who: You needed to read this!!

- SistaLova

What's Your Biggest Fear?

2006-04-06T00:59:00.000Z

I know… I know! I apologise in advance…you can probably guess from the title that I'm not going to continue with my 'adventures' in this post … its just that this topic was a matter still fresh in my head, so I decided to write but I promise…. you readers have my word…. I am going to make sure my next post is about what I got up to in those 'exciting' weeks.

So anyway… what’s your biggest fear?

I asked a few friends of mine… just to get a varied answer of what people’s biggest fears were and even though I was looking for some sort of variation…. I actually got similarities.

Death... waking up to realise you’ve married the wrong person... failure, and so on and so forth. They basically fell into these categories: marriage, death, failure and regret. Asking people these questions made me realise that even though some of us have that ‘don’t care attitude’… we actually do care, 'cos if we didn't care, (personally I think) we wouldn't necessarily have a biggest fear (if you catch my drift).

My biggest fear…. I have loads…. Regretting important choices I’ve made concerning my career, my spouse… death…. Not making it into heaven (I don’t dwell on that one too much), I believe I’m going to heaven…. My last one is watching my younger siblings grow up and seeing them amount to nothing. Not that I concentrate on that but I don’t think I’d be strong enough to handle negative criticism from other members of the family (on behalf of my siblings) if you know what I mean.

I know you’re probably thinking where did that come from… but don’t you ever spend days thinking about different issues… wondering 'what if' or 'why' certain things happen. I actually have many days of ‘thinking’ and it bothers me that I think so much but hey… that’s another side of me. I’m a thinker… every situation I’m in or have been in… believe it or not… I’ve thought about it, maybe a bit too much, but I’ve thought about it. What I realised about being a ‘thinker’ is that you tend to plan things to the smallest detail and sometimes, just sometimes your plan doesn’t go to plan. Then what?

Then readers, you become an analyst, analysing every single thing, why it went wrong and what could happen if you got another chance. KMT. If only I could change this nature in myself… I seriously would. There are times when I want to live each day like it’s my last but to be honest that doesn’t happen and there’s me…. still being the ‘thinker’.
There are days when I have the ‘don’t care attitude’ but then it doesn’t last for too long… because as I said before, having that attitude actually means you do care.

Then I thought for a while and actually realised what my biggest fear was. I mean all the fears I listed are big... trust me. But if you couldn't establish (couldn't isolate) what you're biggest fear was, it's probably because you've deceived yourself into thinking you don't have one. And I'll be real honest with you... I know exactly what my biggest fear is and as lame as it may be... i think it's the root of most issues I come across.

My fear : disappointment.

I met him several times when I was younger... plenty more times as I grew older and frankly having to meet dissapointment again in the near future... puts me in some kind of fear. Some kind of apprehension that as time goes by... he gets uglier and uglier.

- Gabrielle

Back on the Scene

2006-03-30T09:05:00.000Z

So I went on a break to live LIFE… writing everyday was stripping me from actually being able to let you guys know what was really going on in my life. So… what’s happened since my departure? A LOT!!! Oh my days!!! SOOOOOOO MUCH… so much I think it’s going to take a few days to fully complete the story.

So let me start at the beginning… relax, push your chair back and read on… my life… and its action.

Where do I start?? Umm… my quest for a husband is officially over!! How many times have I said that? I know, I know. LOADS. But this time I mean it and I’m not saying it because I’ve found THE ONE, in fact I don’t think I’m even near to him yet but I’ve realised something… I like to worry. I mean, I think I’ve picked up some of my mum’s traits and ‘worrying’ is on her list of characteristics. Honestly! To tell you the truth I have always been a worrier… to the point where if something is troubling me I won’t sleep, won’t eat, won’t even watch tv and if you know the type of person I am… when I don’t watch tv… there’s a problem. Some people find shopping therapeutic, others find that playing Pro Evolution sorts them out but with me its tv.

So, back to the story, it seems like every time I start talking to a guy, I’m infatuated then a few days later (1 week maximum) I’m off him. I was told by my friend that I have 'commitment issues' but I don’t think that’s it. Now I’ve decided to go on with life whichever way it sways me…. And boi… has it swayed me in some different directions. As my uni life became more exciting and I started to make new friends – I realised there was more to life than wondering whether a guy liked me or not … so now that I’ve got that guy issue out of the way I can commence to tell you about what really went down these past few weeks, and to tell you the truth I never knew I had it in me.

Read my next post… the first part into my much needed break.

- Gabrielle

Its Been A Long Time.....

2006-03-28T15:32:00.000Z

Hey guys....I kno its been a while but i just needed a lil "time out" on the whole blogging thing. I love the idea of saying what I want when I want to....(not that I dont already). But the idea of afrodivas was to write about our lives and laugh whether it was good or bad, the truth is I wanted or needed to do a bit more living! Its all good now because the team is back!!

Ok... So i volunteered to write the first post back (kmt...Me & My eager self!), I didnt think it would be so hard. I even asked a friend of mine to give me a topic!! her response was, Whats the point in blogging?

So here it goes....

I used to wonder why people put personal stuff about themselves on the web. What if the wrong person were to find it and read it? But what is the likelihood of that ever happening? I mean, how big is the web? And unless I hand that wrong person the address of this website and reveal my identity on this site, how are they ever going to find it? So why bother? Well, that was the dilemma...but not anymore, everything said on this site is ALWAYS a true and honest expression of how I feel or felt at that time and there is no point in living in fear of what others think. (But I will admit sometimes I say things that I just know, peps are gonna have a problem with!)

I guess secretly I want the wrong people to find the site, because like I've said before some people cant handle the truth face to face. I love hearing about someone that I care about taking the time to actually try find this site and that they care enough about me to sit and read it. And then there are total strangers who stumble across it and take the time to comment.

I know I’m different ( I perfer the term individual..lol), I always have been I mean I can pass for normal or boring when I want to, but it takes effort...lol. What’s nice is when I post something and someone will say something like “I can relate to what you’re saying because I feel the same way", especially during our hiatus... big thanks to all da peps that left voice and text message(s) * notice I said messages...lets just say some of you are crazy...lol* asking us to come back...lol. Sometimes it’s just nice to see the number of visitors to our site even if no one says anything. But you know I enjoy the messages more!!

So maybe I’m doing this so I don’t let life get too crazy for me. And maybe I’m doing this just to get stuff out of my head. There will also be days when there’s no reason to spill words out on the screen except that writing is what I do and what I feel like doing at that moment, what I actually enjoy. I just write, like I was having a conversation with a total stranger on a long bus trip...not that I talk to strangers, I learnt that lesson in primary school lol!!
I am a humble person with some amazing things to say...lol and I guess the whole point of a blog for me is that I can just say it!

- SistaLova

Soon Come!!

2006-03-21T22:59:00.000Z

Hey people....its been a while since the AfroDivas have been missing in action. But im pleased to say that we are returning on the 28th March!....so check us out a few changes have been made in the AfroDivas camp, so this blog will not have daily entries like before....but dont worry their will be regular updates and a few changes on the site. Peace....

- AfroDivas

To Be Continued.....

2006-03-01T00:10:00.000Z

Wassup people, this is a final post from "da Afro Divas".....dont worry, we're coming back in a couple of weeks!
We have all enjoyed working on this site and hope to continue soon... bigger and better than before!

The date of our return has'nt been confirmed yet, so just watch this space!!....peace

- AfroDivas

Chirpsin d man dem (pt 2)

2006-02-28T15:54:00.000Z

Ok... so I said I'm gonna start chirpsin d man dem and since then I haven't come across a guy that is worthy of me 'chirpsin'. Lol. Yeah that was up until I went to a little get 2 gether and there he was. The epitome of FINE. Oh my days!! He was beautiful man, the whole image. But see this chirpsin thing only works when you first see the person init, not if you've met them a couple of times.

I mean I know this guy but it's only recently that I noticed how nice he is. In other words my eyes opened WELL WELL! But see I just talk to him as a friend not a best friend, just someone I'm cool with. But to him I'm probably a young girl, he probably doesn't even 'see' me like that, that's why I want him to notice me. I mean I think we would actually be good together. So how do I go about it, how do I get him to notice me... cos that's what I want basically. I want him to like me. Is that a bad thing?

If he doesn't like me I'll move on. I know that for sure. It's not hard for me to like someone else(even my friends can tell you.... one of my good friends (her name Bushrat..lol..lol) calls me a 'crush hoe'), I can just 'like' one guy one day and watch another guy the next. But thats another story for another day.

Back to this 'beautiful' guy, what if he does like me... ah I can't stop thinking about him... I need to see him again. I wonder if this is how guys feel when they see 'the one' or a girl that they think is BUFF. I try to get him out of my mind but I can't, it kinda sucks 'cos I promised myself that I wouldn't focus on guys. But oh my days.......wot to do?? Someone help me 'cos the next time I see him I don't want to act a fool, I don't want to make it obvious to him that I like him but I reall want him to like me...

What do I do??

- Gabrielle

Sperm Bandits!!

2006-02-27T16:00:00.000Z

I knew that heading would grab your attention...Honestly you lot are so predictable!! Any mention of sex and your eyes pop out of their sockets...lol
Well bad news peeps. Because this isnt about mine or anyone else's "Love Below"....well not entirely anyway...lol

If a woman gets pregnant by a man without his prior consent, is she secretly stealing his seed??

This thought came to me after reading an article about a guy suing a chick in New Mexico for stealing his sperm. He claims that she promised to take the pill, but stopped in order to have a baby.... making him a father without his knowledge or consent. The woman argued that she could not have "stolen" his sperm because because he "surrended any right of possesion...when he transferred it...during voluntary sexual intercourse". Now i dont know about you but i had to laugh when reading that particuilar line! she also said that "It should be considered a gift". I cant speak for all the women out there, but if a dude was to give you his sperm as a "gift" im not sure you would be happy about it...lol

We (men) can never be sure. There are all sorts of freaks around. If your a man, you have to deal with the possibility that you have released millions of "lil' Friends" into the wilderness. For all you know you could have fathered hundreds of kids...( i think the record no. of kids for a man was 888 by a old emperor of morocco)...that you know nothing about.

Whenever i try and discuss this topic with the opposite sex i always get the same reaction..."Excuse me, punk!....blaming mums for not using birth control....ever heard of a condom??"(you know while saying dat they were clicking their fingers or moving their neck so much it looked painful....lol)
Lets face it to some women, men are a walking gene pool, and its a general rule that a woman goes for the most sought after sperm she can lay her hands on. Its the right combination of brains, health and stamina...all of which i have! Once identified as the "best available", some women will zoom in like missile launcher!! I mean these women dont have a problem enticing us guys to give it up, all they have to do is wear lil' make up, get there hair done and wear the.... right clothes...
And if a woman can't get the "best", then she'll settle for second best, third best....A hard core woman will go even further. SPERM BANDITS

- BruthaDiva

Different opinions

2006-02-23T12:10:00.000Z

Is it too much to ask to want to be successful, is it too much to ask to want to be independent, too much to want to live comfortably? I’m asking these questions because I feel like my independence poses a problem to the opposite sex. I mean at first, the guys I talk to seem to want that sort of girl but the more I talk to them the more they seem completely different to what I want in a guy. I mean at first its all gravy and then later on they’re talking about ‘the wife being in the kitchen’. OK. What’s wrong with you being in the kitchen? Don’t get me wrong, I will be a dutiful wife and I will look after my husband and our home but there is a limit to all of that. I mean what’s the point of me devoting my life to someone who won’t respect me enough to realise that not everything can be done solely by me. I think back to a conversation I had with one of my friends and he said that he will never step foot in the kitchen, like NEVER. I couldn’t understand how he could make a statement like that so I asked him to elaborate,

‘Basically, I don’t like cooking, don’t like being in the kitchen. I feel imprisoned anytime I go in there, so basically that would be my wife’s territory. Whatever I want, she makes.’

I’ve been told that I am quite shallow concerning some aspects of life but excuse me, what rubbish is that? So even if I was sick, this guy wouldn’t enter the kitchen. That is so wrong. And just hearing him talk about what his wife should do and what she should be about, well, frankly, it upset me. Something in me boiled up. I can’t do it. I can’t do that. I’ll love my husband unconditionally but I don’t know whether I could love a guy with such a character. It would be really hard, I do admit that. And then I was thinking about the flipside.

As much as that guy was chattin so much rubbish, have I ever been guilty of that. Umm... i think I have, not intentionally though. I mean you readers probably know me a bit by now... I seem shallow, not quite though, just a little. There have been a few things I have said in the past that could make a guy perceive ladies to be 'gold-diggers, shallow, egotistical, harsh.' But I mean come on what's the point in me being with a guy that I feel is doing worse than me in life. Not that I'm judging his way of life or anything... but reflecting to what I said before... I'm going to be a dutiful and submissive wife, but how can I do that if i don't even respect the guy. It's like if I'm the CEO of a business firm and my husband's the cleaner. It just doesn't work does it. And yes I know people say LOVE overcomes all of that but that sort of situation could present a lot of problems, don't you think??

Things like this are so confusing that's why I've decided to hang up my shoes of reasoning... I just can't be bothered any more. Next post ... I'm gonna be strait up... apologies in advance.

- Gabrielle

Say a lil' prayer

2006-02-21T21:26:00.000Z

I want to ask my afro divas and other readers of this blog to say a small prayer to end all da madness dats been going on in da world, because i'm afraid my friend is gonna loose her mind!!

Truth is shes not really a friend but a collegue from work, every time she reads or hears a story about anthrax, mad cow disease or bird flu da girl goes into a panic and tries to track down whateva cure she thinks is available. She's so afraid of bird flu she nearly falls to the ground in da fetal position wheneva she sees a pigeon!!...lol

I should'nt even laugh, cos its serious....she keeps on advising everyone to wear gloves when opening their mail and drink soy milk because she's afraid of catching mad cow's disease from drinking cow's milk...kmt
I think all dis nonsense came from her trip to America...(u kno dey all crazy).

So remeba peps to say a lil' prayer!

- SistaLova

Not so Diva-esque!

2006-02-20T01:12:00.000Z

Have you ever noticed when your phone stops ringing? Like I hope I’m not the only one but no one seems to call me anymore. And at first it didn’t bother me, but it’s like now I just sit at home doing nothing… and even through that I don’t get any calls. All I can think about is the amount of fun my friends are having, I don’t even like calling people at these times because it will add insult to my injury. Hearing your friend having fun with their friends. Nah… I’m not going to call. What’s happening to me? Gabrielle’s getting soft… I used to be tough, I used to be admired, my phone was always ringing, and I was always talking to someone. What’s happened? Have I crawled down my society circle? I hope not! I brought together my circle of friends… this can’t be happening. Just imagine if I was to call one of them, and they all happened to be together. Aargh…right now my life doesn’t seem so great. I haven’t even got any work to occupy myself with. Back in London and I feel like an absolute loser. This is not how I pictured it. I didn’t think I’d ever say this but I can’t wait to go back to uni. I’m being serious. And my uni. isn’t even the livest one… it’s actually quite boring when you eradicate the ‘raving, drinking,’ (not that I do that) but that’s all there is. And to me that is BORING!! How many raves can you go to in one week? Ok, ok, yes I know you can reach loads…but that’s really not me. But enough about that… what am I going to do about this ‘no calls’ thing. I mean I even check my phones (notice I said phones, no one calls me on either) to see whether there’s reception… now that’s sinking to an all time low don’t you think? Maybe this is the time when I’m supposed to focus on work and stuff but how can I do that? All my work is in… I finished everything. Oh my gosh!! I think I’ve fallen down my social circle.

Not so diva-esque as I thought huh.

- Gabrielle

Dont hate me, If ur girl wants me!!

2006-02-18T15:51:00.000Z

In-se-cure (adjective) 1. Not secure or safe; 2. Not assured of safety; liable to suffer loss or harm
In-se-cu-ri-ty (noun) 1. The condition of being unsafe; liability to injury, loss or failure; uncertainty; instability

(I have wanted to talk about this particular subject for a very long time, but never really had a reason to bring it up until this morning. Since opportunity finally presented itself, I'm going to knock down there door. I want to talk about men, who are insecure in their relationships.)

A few weeks ago I got a call from a friend of mine that I haven't seen in over a year. She was calling to tell me that she was coming back down to London and was hoping we could get together for dinner one night while she was here. I told her that that was cool. For whatever reason, we never did hook up. What was even more strange, she didn't even call me to tell me what had happened. That was until this morning. She left me a V.msg and apologized for not meeting me. She said that her boyfriend ended up coming down too and he didn't want her to see me. She also went on to say that her boyfriend thought that we were too close and he didn't feel comfortable with our friendship. He isn't the first man that has unnecessarily felt uncomfortable with the relationship that I have with their girlfriend.

Unfortunately, none of these guy have anything to worry about. In most cases, I was there before they got into the picture and should be seen as a non-factor. For those cases where I met a woman who was already in a relationship, I would respect the guy and the relationship . . . at least as long as the woman did!

The way I see it, if you feel threatened by a third party, then maybe you need to check yourself. If you think for one second that the woman you're with is looking at someone else, then maybe, just maybe, you should see if there's something you aren't giving her... before you think the worst.

Have you ever been in a situation where you, or the person you were with, felt threatened by a third party? If so, how did you handle it? Were you ever in a situation in which you were forced to cut a friend out of your life for the sake of a relationship? If you've ever dated someone who was insecure, was it possible to reassure them that there was nothing to worry about, or did their insecurity ruin your relationship?

- BruthaDiva

Segregation

2006-02-16T20:57:00.000Z

Segregation. What makes us segregate? Sitting in one of my seminars today actually made me think about that. As I looked around my seminar group I realised that even though we might not know it, we are segregated. Each row was separated into race, can you believe that? I mean I’m a strong believer of inter-racial relationships and I’m not talking about boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, I’m talking about plain friendships.

The 1st row was all Caucasians, the 2nd row was all Asians and the 3rd row were all black people. That disturbed me because I wondered what the subliminal message was behind the separation. I mean I genuinely like the people in my class so I don’t understand why our class wasn’t mixed up. I mean I don’t think we all sat in those places on purpose, but the fact is that we did sit there.

There are some things we do that we’re not aware of and segregation is one example. Usually my seminar group is mixed so that wasn’t my biggest worry. My worry was in my lectures; I haven’t seen segregation like this ever. My primary school was totally mixed, same goes for my secondary school, college was unbalanced but compared to other people I know, my classes were probably the only example of non-segregation. (Even though I think it’s due to the subjects I studied, I mean who takes French as an A2 Level). So basically through my life I haven’t seen segregation as I’ve seen it in uni. And what baffles me is what brings it on? I mean do people suddenly decide that when they go to uni they’re only going to talk to people who are exactly like them, by that I mean same colour, same origin, same background. Is that what my society has boiled down to? It saddens me but what can I do, I’m not the first to experience it and I doubt that I’ll be the last.

What happened to Martin Luther King’s speech, was it all said in vain? He wanted us to be able to walk side by side and no longer be segregated. But despite his efforts we still are. It might not be as extreme as it was back then, but the main fact is that we are separated. And that’s the problem. I can only imagine how it’s going to be for my children. You think its going to be worse? I hope not. I want my child to grow up with no inhibitions and no acquired stereotype of other cultures but in saying that I think that that might be inevitable. As the days go by and the years roll on, our society’s becoming more and more divided. And it’s that division that scares me.

- Gabrielle

Leave me alone!

2006-02-15T00:05:00.000Z

Persistence is not the answer, you phoning me on a regular basis to remind me how much you love, miss and need me is not going to change my mind. Don’t get me wrong fellas, us women do appreciate some dedication but no is no. I recently broke up with an ex; someone who inspired my pen many a time, when it was good it was good but when it was bad it was real bad. I was his fool but not to worry because I soon woke up and saw everything for what it was, actually let me not sugar coat it and save face; I found out he was cheating and I was the other woman which is what spurred my wake up call. How I stayed blind for so long is another post altogether. But during our relationship I gave my all sometimes I received a decent enough morsel in return but most times I made do. In all honesty I don’t hold a grudge but my problem now is that I woke up but so did he and now he cant live with what his now missing out on. The phrases ‘You don’t know what you got till it’s gone’ is too real to be true! I have to ask myself why guys take their girls for granted then get pissed when their gone. You constantly telling me how sorry and wrong you are is not going to make me change my mind; I know you were wrong which is why I left and I know you’re sorry because I’m priceless and you don’t have me anymore. So to all the bugaboo ex’s out there persistent is not the key leave us alone! I know somewhere out there someone can relate.

Soul_Full

The Fabulous Life of Mama Drama

2006-02-14T23:28:00.000Z

Yes! Welcome to the world of Mama Drama! You’re probably thinking ‘why does she call herself Mama Drama?’ Well ask anyone who knows me what one word can be used to describe me in a nutshell, they will most probably say drama…and I cannot even deny it one bit. My life (love life) is so dramatic, im telling you…if they made my love life into a motion picture I could win a few Oscars!

Ok to cut the long story short…over the last couple of months I have been on a quest to find myself the perfect man. But either they are good looking and crazy or they’re ugly and…well that’s it. So a couple of weeks ago I decided that I’d had enough of looking and I was gonna let my perfect man find me. Yeah right!!

So here was this guy Duane, who I used to talk to a couple of years ago but due to unforeseen circumstances we lost contact with each other. Fortunately, thanks to a helpful source, we found each other again. To tell you the truth I was so happy because in my heart I was thinking that it was too much of a coincidence that after all these years we would meet again. I really thought he was one of those guys who you talk to for a couple of weeks but after a few years you drift apart and you never see again. So just imagine how I felt when this guy wants to talk to me again. But was I in for a ride!!!

Ok so here I was talking to Duane who said all the right things to me and he was just the kind of guy that I’ve been dreaming about. He called me quite often, he texted me to see how I was and to let me know that he was thinking of me. He was so special!! But I suppose he got too excited. Now don’t get me wrong I no that when you meet someone new you want to make an effort but DAAAAMMMNN!!! How much of an effort do want to make.

Ok let me break it to you. We started to talk on a Tuesday and by the Thursday we were in a relationship (my mistake). He was calling me every 1-2 hours to see how I was. Take note…I tried to emphasise to him that I had 3 assignments to hand in and I needed space to do my work but no he continued to ring me… it got to the point where I had to turn off my phone for a couple of days. I was getting so stressed out. Then he wanted to come and see me…at first I was like ok but I really had a lot of work to do so I told him that it wouldn’t be ideal for me. A normal guy would be like “ok I’ll come and see you when you’re less busy, coz I want you to concentrate on your work.” In Duane’s world he says to me “ aww babes don’t worry when I come down I won’t bother you I’ll just bring the work I have to do…I can even help you with your work.” Take note im doing a degree in medicine and he’s doing a degree in music. So somebody please tell me what these two subjects have in common!!? Now he started to do the whole guilt trip thing. So he says to me “babes I just wanna see you, but I understand that you have so much work to do and I don’t want you to fail, I only want the best for you, you know I love you.”

Hold up a sec!! How can he say he loves me? We weren’t even together for a week, we haven’t even seen each other face to face . So how could he possibly love me?? He was infatuated not in love. Why do so many people get these feelings mixed up?

Mama Drama